Vetcetera Omigod I can’t believe she just did that! (poor pet bladder and bowel control at the vet’s office)

It happens several times a day—at least—when a frightened cat empties her bladder onto the table or, more commonly, when a nervous dog leaves a pile of steamy stuff on the way into the hospital.

Owners are invariably mortified. So much so that they don’t always tell the staff about the mess, leaving unsuspecting clients to navigate a mine-field on their way in—or worse, slip in the excrement.

Whenever this occurs in an exam room, I try to set people at ease: “She’s not the first today and I promise you she won’t be the last.” Still, they’re clearly embarrassed and always offer to clean up the mess. I don’t let them. Instead, I stick my head out the door and yell, “Clean-up, aisle one!”

I know it seems silly, but I’ll do anything to make a client laugh, whether it’s an episode of the submissive piddles or the big-time bowel movements that require a scooper-shovel.

They’re animals, after all, not the perfectly behaved, suitably-warned children we sometimes wish they were. They don’t exactly care whether they let loose on the sidewalk, the park or the vet’s place—it all smells the same to them, much as we try to disinfect and de-smell our surfaces.

And we Americans are so touchy about poo-poo and pee-pee. I mean, we can’t even say it right! It’s no wonder we get so freaky about excreta—we’ve had a lifetime of inhibitory (or foul) language forced upon us in relation to bodily waste.

Occasionally we get the truly disgusting cases where a fear-aggressive dog lets loose every possible secretion and excretion known to their kind, then proceeds to run in circles around and over it, smearing gobs of foul discharge on every accessible surface. That’s a bad day. But it’s still not their fault—they’re justifiably scared s-------. And I sympathize with the owner’s horror of the scene. That’s when I offer to make a house call next time. What else can you do for a case like that?—short of some serious sedation.

So next time you find yourself in the unenviable position of having to apologize for your pet’s bowels or bladder—don’t. Just let us know it happened and kindly ask someone to clean it up. It’s all in a day’s work for us.

April 29th, 2007

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My old cat was always terrified when she had to visit the vet. Every time we would visit, she was known to void her bowels. The tech would ask when she called us into the room if I had brought a stool sample along. I never had to bring one because Kitty always provided a nice, fresh one there.

Susan April 29th, 2007 05:53:00 PM

Angel has been known to pee or leave a poop trail when we bring her to the vets. I've known my vet and most of her staff for years and it still bothers me. I also refuse to let my vet's staff clean up the mess as she is my dog after all.

When I brought Taz in for his yearly, somebodies dog left a poop on the walk on scale. Ick! Dog poop and a vets office is nothing new but I thought it was really rude of the owner just to leave it and not say anything.

Stacy April 29th, 2007 07:13:00 PM

Oh yeah...I can sympathize with the silent embarassed owners. My guys don't doo in the vets. But whenever we go to the dog park, I pay my sister to do the doo. There is something about FRESH doo that I can't handle...no pun intended. I do a weekly clean-up in the yard...with a shovel. But to grab a pile with nothing between me and it but a flimsy baggy.....NOT gonna happen. IN the meanwhile, my sis is making money putting up with my dog's S*%$.

Agadore's momma April 29th, 2007 11:19:00 PM

I am a (human) gastroenterologist, (well, I'm a gastroenterologist FOR humans as well as being human) and I have this problem once in awhile in my office too. The poor patient has usually been suffering along with incontinence for quite awile before they muster up the nerve to see me, and some people are so mortified they can barely get the words out. I give them SO much credit for finally getting things checked out. Incontinence can really make folks into social cripples, and a variety of treatments exist, depending on the particular problem. I try and treat it like it's no big deal (which is, in fact, correct) and very routine and always try and reassure them that they are NOT the first one with this problem. Plus, doing colonoscopies for a good part of my day makes me quite inured to poop anyway!

Katie April 30th, 2007 07:41:00 PM

I woke up during my last colonoscopy enough to announce, "I'm Going To PEE!" and I heard the doctor demand more towels. I felt the towels. And I know I then Peed. Embarrassing but true. But the movement the scope was making was upsetting the bladder, and I originally had meant it as more of a threat. I go back Monday to actually discuss the colonoscopy results (this was about six weeks ago). Yeah, you gastroenterologists get a lot of sympathy from me.

Georg May 1st, 2007 12:27:00 AM

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