Vet Stress He said she said: Getting gender just right can be a tricky business for vets

I confess: I get my genders mixed up sometimes. No, it’s not a vision issue…nor does it stem from sheer laziness. I know it’s right on his record and right between his legs—but somehow I still called him a her.

So you know (as if you didn’t already), parents don’t appreciate this. They usually correct you immediately—sometimes indignantly. And I don’t blame them. This is one transgression no vet should commit.

Why? Because gender is often critical to how people bond with their pets. Because they can’t even imagine what their pet would be like as a boy…or how she could even look so masculine that anyone would doubt her femininity. But, most of all, because it makes the vet look like she hasn’t taken the trouble to bond with their beloved.

I don’t know about other vets but for me it’s more often attributable to something akin to instinct than anything else. Sometimes I just jump to conclusions on a pet’s gender based on a variety of cultural cues or visual hunches. Her pink collar, his jutting jawline, the spikes on his harness, the bow in her hair…whatever.

And how about the name thing? Madison, Morgan, Blue, Pixie, Cotton… I get soooo confused sometimes.

Worst of all, if I’ve made the mistake once with a pet, I’ll often make it again. And that’s because the circuits in my simple brain have already wired themselves to accept this initial perception of reality.

I once did relief work at a hospital whose owner I have a lot of respect for. In fact, I tried to get a job there a few years back when I needed more hours to pay my mounting bills, but vets are so happy there they never seem to leave (go figure). He understood very well the importance of getting gender just right. Every male had blue paper for his records and every female, pink. It seemed smart to me at the time. Now, ten years later, it seems almost crucial.

I hate blurting out “he” when I should have said “she.” It makes me feel like a careless clinician. I know it shouldn’t bother me so much, but if I can get that wrong, what must the owner think of my skills?

July 15th, 2007

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I worked for a very absent-minded vet, and while we had pink records for the ladies and blue records for the gents, she still mixed up gender all. the. time. I was constantly correcting her, I brought it to her attention that clients can get very upset even if she thinks it doesn't matter because they're all neutered... no matter, she never improved.

My favorite is when she'd be spaying something and referring to it as a "he".

Julia July 15th, 2007 07:08:00 PM

We recently had our IBD cat in. He was very sick - some new food that didn't agree with him. Our normal vet was out that day so we saw the founder of the clinic. She had awesome 'bedside manners' - put the cat in her lap to check him out, etc. I was very impressed. Except, she kept referring to him as 'she'. I think by the end of the appointment she finally corrected herself. But it drove me crazy! He is a very small cat at 8 lbs - a little over when he is more healthy. LOL!

Jenny July 15th, 2007 07:50:00 PM

I know exactly how you feel working as a receptionist in a Veterinarian office. It's a big OOOps, and then try to play it off.Sometimes it is the owners fault.

Sylvia July 15th, 2007 08:00:00 PM

My vet only sees my dogs an average of once or twice a year. I do not expect the vet to remember my dogs' names or genders. Frankly, I hope my vet's brain is so filled with all kinds of medical knowledge that she has no room for pet's names. I don't even care if she gets my name correct, as the visits are not a social call. I am looking for the best treatment for my animals. If the vet remembers my dogs' names, it is a bonus.

Susan July 15th, 2007 09:03:00 PM

Then there are the OWNERS who constantly confuse their pet's gender......and it's not always just the older folks, either. Imagine the technician (or the veterinarian's) confusion when the owner keeps referring to Spike as a HE when the chart clearly states that Spike was spayed last month! Arg!

Michelle S. July 15th, 2007 10:32:00 PM

My big, black, long-haired floppy-earred retrievers are constantly referred to as "she" by nearly everyone who approaches, even vets and vet techs. They are pretty dogs (if I do say so myself), so I just laugh it off. I say "I think it's the long hair." People who own Borzoi, Salukis or even Setters probably run into the same thing. People with Boxers and Bulldog bitches probably hear "he" a lot.

Deanna July 15th, 2007 10:40:00 PM

I am amused by the doctors that can't keep the patient's gender straight in the reports I type. "This 77-year-old gentleman is complaining of pain along her right side..." I get this *far* too often, and I think it's worse than my pet getting the wrong gender. My nephew is 4. He has finally realized that not all dogs are Sosa (his dog), black, male, or friendly. My dog is not friendly or solid black, and she is slightly smaller than he is. By the end of my vacation last week, he finally was getting her name and gender correct, and had finally started petting her in a way she actually liked, and she actually wanted to play with him. This was very nice. (I still didn't leave them alone together, though!)

Georg July 16th, 2007 11:35:00 AM

Tell you what, just make it a habit to look up under the dog before you say anything. <g>

Gil. July 16th, 2007 06:39:00 PM

Gil: Ever tried looking under a fat pug and expecting to see anything more than flabby nipples? You've got to cop an indiscreet feel to really know ;-) Point taken, though: READ THE DAMN RECORD, DOC!

Dr. Patty Khuly July 17th, 2007 09:10:00 AM

I grew up with female cats, so I keep calling our tom (neutered) "she". But he's very secure in his masculinity. I'm with Susan, a vet has to keep so much in mind -- <i>species</i> never mind gender -- that as long as the diagnosis is correct and their manner is nice, they can call my pets whatever s/he likes!

Mr. Scruffy July 17th, 2007 11:04:00 AM

and then there's the people who purposely confuse their pets. i hvae this one adorable black pom that comes in to be groomed regularly and heaven forbid i pop a camo (army print) or stars N stripes bow on this dog... his mom will settle for nothing other than the frilliest, laciest, most sparkly PINK bows that i have. he also must get a poofy pink collar bow and even hot pink nail polish. he looks adorable all made up like that but i cant help but fel the deepest sympathy for him... he looks so embarassed to not only look like a lion but a GIRL lion at that. i save his dignity the best that i can and dont bedeck him in frill until his mom gets there for him...

charity July 17th, 2007 12:19:00 PM

LOL, Charity. I have frequent run-ins with Lola the gender-confused Pom at our local dog park. Even after the vet pointed out that she was actually a he, Lola's mom couldn't bear to change his name to something a bit more suitable. Lolca cracked me up so much that I blogged about him:

http://www.eaforums.com/forums/four-horsemen/48324...

Lola is the holy terror of our dog park- mainly due to his mom's insistance that Lola is "sensitive".

Oh, and hi, Dr. Khuly. I am on holiday and am spending some of my internet cafe $$$ on checking to see what you've written about this week!
:)

Cindy July 18th, 2007 10:27:00 PM

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