In the lunch-line at the FVMA conference Saturday, I spied the cutest lil’ geriatric pug looking right at me. He was sitting on a chair just watching the world go by—but he only had eyes for me. A couple of steps later and it was clear he had eyes for no one—in fact, he had no eyes.

Stephen-the-Pug had been freeze-dried after he died, presumably at his owner’s request (though how he came to rest on a hotel chair at a vet conference in a “Pet Cemetary” booth eludes my imagination).

His caretakers, the “undertaker” sales representatives, were eager to answer my questions. Not that they managed to do so beyond the rudimentary basics of the freeze-drying process (euthanasia, embalming, positioning, gas chamber for weeks, fake eyes applied). Check out this site for a slightly creepy photo gallery.

Sure, it’s a little gross. But it’s a bargain when you consider that cremation goes for $150 to $500 and this [seemingly labor and chemical-intensive] process costs only $1,000 to $1,500. It’s almost enough to make you want to curl your little one up in a ball and position her on her doggie bed for a lifetime of slumber at your side. Well…maybe not.

Truth be told, this Folger’s puglet was way cute, down to the tiny wart on his ear and the grey muzzle of his geriatric years. (Double-click on the image for a better look at this sweetie.) He looked so full of personality, so lifelike, he actually made me wonder whether I might succumb to the need to keep my Sophie close even after her death.

I know it sounds morbid, but Stephen’s sweetness was evident even in death. Might I not want to remember Sophie Sue’s Frenchie mug the same way? But...where would I put her?

I have to confess that this line of thinking had me nearly in tears—all while standing in the lunch-line at a professional meeting. Not a good thing.

No, I finally decided, it would just be too weird, too sensational, too disrespectful somehow. But now that I’ve seen Stephen, I can finally understand why someone might elect to freeze-dry their sweetheart—pathological though it might be.

Somehow, though, I don’t expect anyone to ever ask…and I certainly don’t plan to start offering this service alongside cremation at my euthanasias. Can you imagine the looks? I can. ‘Nuff said about Stephen. May he rest in peace.