Vetcetera Death benefits for the bereaved…what does your vet do?

September 16th, 2007  

Add Comment46 Comments

The best thing I ever got was a really nice one page version of the The Rainbow Bridge which I carried around in my pocket for weeks and really helped me to deal with the death of my golden.

cyndi September 16th, 2007 09:39:00 AM

What about donating to a non-profit animal rescue organization in the area or a national one like ASPCA or HSUS in the pet's name? If the pet came from a particular rescue organization in the area (if you have it in his/her records), it would be neat to give back to that org in the pet's name. Or if the pet is a purebreed, what about donating in the pet's name to a breed rescue org? Just some ideas.

Julie September 16th, 2007 09:59:00 AM

My vet clinic sends a card, signed by my vet & the techs who worked closely with us. That is sufficient for me. There was no charge for euthanasaia, just the cremation which is outsourced. More important to me is the care and support while the pet is alive.

To me the biggest faux pas was the next time I took my other dog in, a receptionist asked if it was my recently deceased pet. Get those paper files pulled and the computer files updated/deleted!

My worst experience in putting a dog down was years ago. I called after making the heart wrenching decision that it was time, only to be told by the receptionist that they were booked and it would have to wait for the next day. I asked to speak to the vet and he said to come in whenever I was ready.

The front desk staff set the tone for each office visit, they may be the lowest paid, non animal technical part of the team, but they can be wonderful or horrible.

Jan September 16th, 2007 10:01:00 AM

HSUS????? You have got to be kidding! Research them, they are animal rights, not animal welfare. You might as well give directly to PETA.

Jan September 16th, 2007 10:04:00 AM

Cornell University has a gift program; my Vet donated when my cat died.. it was a very touching gesture..
BUT, what really upset me..the charge for the euthenasia.. I was a patient of the practice for over 15 years; all my animals' care done at the hospital.. from spaying on..The charge for the euthenasia and cremation was over $200.. then I found out that the local Humane society would have done it for $45!!! WHAT??the same procedures; same crematory...

After all the years of care and money; couldn't my Vet give me the last consideration? at the worst possible time? Why does the Humane Society act in a more "humane" way?

I still take my animals to the practice; subsequent euthenasias were performed at the Humane Society; with I might add; as much love and consideration that the $200 procedure did..

Having grief counseling available would be so very helpful to get thru the terrible days that follow; or at the very least a referal...

anonymous September 16th, 2007 10:10:00 AM

Jan: It's been looking like they're going more and more in that direction. Makes me crazy--because they're effective and I'd like to see that energy go into the good stuff. But most people haven't been made aware of these shifts so it's understandable that some of us still see them as the ultimate white hat guys when it comes to welfare.

Dr. Patty Khuly September 16th, 2007 10:11:00 AM

anonymous: I've seen euthanasia and cremation prices as high as $600. $200 is pretty standard in much of the US. Part of that is the choice of crematorium. They are not all created equal. Also understand that municipal shelters are subsidized by taxpayers. If $45 is what it costs for the shelter in your area to do an e&c, that doesn't mean your vet gets the same price. He/she probably pays far more than that in supplies, labor, overhead and cremation fees. I'm not defending--just explaining that there *may* be more at work there than what you think.

Check out this post:
http://www.dolittler.com/index.cfm/2007/2/6/pet.ve...

Dr. Patty Khuly September 16th, 2007 10:17:00 AM

Since I have greyhounds as well as borzoi, when one of my vets sends a donation to the Morris Animal Foundation in memory of a particular dog for osteosarcoma research, I'm thrilled...Ellie

Ellie September 16th, 2007 10:17:00 AM

My vet sent me a wonderful note and flowers when my dog died. When I had to put one of cats down, they made an adorable paw print and card for me. I think both were appropriate. The local humane society offers grief counseling, which I already knew about from doing volunteer work, but it was nice that my vet mentioned it in case I felt the need to speak to someone.

Genevieve September 16th, 2007 10:25:00 AM

When I had to put down my baby Kimball, the office that handled his euthanasia sent a card signed by all the staff--each had written how he was a cool dog and they will miss him and little things like that. They also did the clay pawprint, but the card was far more meaningful.

Bettie September 16th, 2007 10:38:00 AM

My vet sent a generic card, but the picture on the front was not only of cats and dogs, but also had a rabbit and a bunch of birds, and it was my cockatiel that passed away - it was nice to see other pet species acknowledged. I didn't have a close relationship with my vet so I felt that was appropriate. One friend got a stone engraved with a picture of a cockatiel, her name, and her dates. Someday when I have a house I will put it in the garden and scatter her ashes there.

zandperl September 16th, 2007 11:08:00 AM

Oh, and Bettie's comment reminded me: the emergency hospital that treated her also sent a card, signed by the staff members who dealt with her. Their comments about how sweet and loving she was were really touching.

zandperl September 16th, 2007 11:09:00 AM

The vet I worked for sent cards, and we made cards with a computer program and found pictures that looked similar to the deceased pet - so if it was a yellow lab, they got a card with a yellow lab, if it was a cockatiel, they got a card with a cockatiel, etc. We also did clay paws.

Michigan State also has a program like Florida's. I don't know why my vet wasn't signed up, but my boyfriend's was, and he didn't hesitate to make a donation in his cat's name.

Julia September 16th, 2007 11:15:00 AM

I like getting a card that a donation has been sent to a charity. But I agree with the poster who said not HSUS. I would be upset to think a donation had been sent to HSUS in my dog's name. I would avoid donations to any of the national animal protection organizations, since most have been taken over or heavily influenced by animal rights, which makes them controversial to many animal lovers. If you have a good local shelter, that could be a reasonable choice for making a donation.

I think the Morris Foundation is a good choice, since it is for research into animal health.

A few personal lines added to the card from the vet would be really special. I know this probably isn't possible in a lot of cases, but if the vet knows you and your animal well, it would be extra nice.

Linda H September 16th, 2007 12:08:00 PM

Julia, I think that making the effort to find a picture taht is like the lost pet is nice. What really helps is something that it lets the recipient know it isn't just a 'form' letter sent out without much thought.

Linda H September 16th, 2007 12:21:00 PM

I do not yet know what my vet does to help memorialize a deceased pet; however, I do know she has a special room set aside at her clinic specifically for euthanasia. It has a futon couch and comfortable flooring so it feels less like a vet's office. Because it is set aside, people can spend as much time as they need there without interfering with the rest of the clinic.

I'm okay with the donation to a vet school idea. Rescue groups may be okay, but there is a chance that the "wrong" group will be chosen. (Count me among those who would be livid if someone donated to HSUS in either my or my pet's name.)

For me, I think a card is about the best way to go Pawprints, etc. take up space. I probably wouldn't want to display it and yet would feel guilty throwing it away.. If the pet was long-haired, and the body left at the vet, a lock of hair might be appropriate, especially if the pet died unexpectedly or very young. If you read the book "Lad: A Dog" by Albert Payson Terhune when you were a kid, you remember that Lad was a collie who had many adventures and finally died at the age of 16. The real Lad died in 1918, Terhune himself in the early 1940s, and his widow in the 1950s or '60s. When people were going through Mrs. Terhune's stuff, they came upon an envelope in an old scrapbook that was labeled "Lad's hair." The scrapbook had been added to for years after Lad's death, and the envelope and hair was always kept. That envelope and hair is now at the Library of Congress.

kabbage September 16th, 2007 12:25:00 PM

My vet sends a card signed by them and their staff.

I think a card is an excellent way to go. Not expensive, shows thought and caring by the staff, personal, and comes in a huge variety. I think donations can be hard because not everyone would agree on where they would prefer a memorial donation. (as seen in the previous comments)

It should be sent soon afterwards though and not a few weeks later to re-open the floodgates. That would be like ripping off a scab just starting to heal over.

I love that the crematorium they used sent a Rainbow bridge poem card back with the remains too. They also stopped using just a cardboard box and baggie but added a nice tin the remains come in as well.

If I had the funds I would totally love to open a pet cemetary with a small on site chapel. There aren't many options in my area at all for people who have lost a pet. Especially for those with no land of their own. I've had all of mine cremated to be able to put them on my future property after we move.

So my vote is a nice signed card.

Marie September 16th, 2007 01:06:00 PM

I've gotten lots of different gifts and flowers, plants etc. from different clinics over the years... the most meaningful thing though is usually just a card that the staff has signed with thoughtful little comments. I keep those forever. I've received cards from emergency clinics too, and those are especially touching because it's not expected... I wasn't a regular client or anything.

My vet also now has a room dedicated for euthanasia and or serious consultation. It's large enough that you can comfortably get down on the floor with your pet if you want (the exam table will fold up against the wall) and has a love seat and a couple of comfy chairs, some plants etc. PLUS - it's at the opposite end of the building from the main treatment rooms. My vet said she had noticed a few times when putting an animal down or consulting/comforting a client that it can be very distracting to hear laughter or loud conversation from the treatment area. So they wanted the consultation room to be in a quieter location. Plus, it's out of their way so if a client wants to spend a long time visiting a pet or even saying goodbye they won't feel rushed and can take all the time they want to.

Donations are great, but I agree with the other commentators that you have to be careful. Donation to rescue would be great but which one? I don't think the name & contact info for the rescue where you adopted your pet is usally in the files. And some rescues are more reputable than others... there are some in my area that I would be quite upset to find that a donation had gone to them. And I also agree NO to HSUS!! That would be horrible... they don't even run ONE shelter anywhere in the country, and are using their hundreds of millions of dollars to promote breed-specific legislation and other onerous laws that will just make it harder for us to keep pets in the future. Donations to the Morris Animal Foundation are great but not all pet owners are familiar with them. There wouldn't be anything wrong (IMO) with asking the client "We'd like to make a donation to a charity in your pet's name. Do you have a favorite charity?"

But in general I say keep it simple... a card signed by the staff and maybe flowers or a small plant. It really is the thought that counts!

Barb September 16th, 2007 01:17:00 PM

I got a very nice card with a lovely note about a week after we had to have our little Ashley kitty put to sleep. IIRC, they also made a donation to the Cornell Vet school. It was very appropriate and also made me cry like an idiot for a good 30 minutes.

CDC September 16th, 2007 01:21:00 PM

What a raw subject! This past week, we had to have Moody our one-eyed Siamese put down, and it was heartbreaking. Even my vet cried, and he doesn't cry easily. The techs came in to be with us when he was euthanized and they were all crying, too - Moody was a favourite at our vet's office. I don't think that a card or anything is necessary, just knowing that they also cared about Moody was so wonderful and supportive.

At the moment, I think a card would be too soon. This has been an awful week, and we all still cry at the drop of a hat. However, at some point, maybe a few days on down the road, a card would be really sweet and considerate.

Cindy September 16th, 2007 01:29:00 PM

We have a stack of pre-signed (we really sign them- it's not a stamp or copy) condolence cards then, when a pet dies, we handwrite a personal message for that family. Sometimes staff members opt to write in a personal message from them if they have worked closely with the pet and owner. We also make an ink pawprint on nice paper that also has an appropriate poem printed on it. That way it isn't bulky and can be added to a scrapbook (won't collect dust on a shelf...). I found the poems on various websites- they all still make me cry when I read them! We also have copies of the Rainbow Bridge, that go in the condolence "package", printed on rainbow paper. For longtime clients and patients or for patients that have battled an intense illness we often send flowers. My favorite was the family that had a Rotty and a Pomeranian who both died of cancer only a month apart. We bought a tree for the rotty with a plaque with her name on it and personally delivered it. Then when the pom died we bought them a shrub to plant beside the tree...:)

Meghan September 16th, 2007 01:34:00 PM

Cindy-
It's funny. I think Siamese cats are always a favorite at vet clinics- they never let you forget who they are!!

We had a siamese named Razz that was in heart failure and ended up living at my animal hospital for a couple of months before he died. We let him wander the hospital like a clinic cat. He used to sit like a sphinx in the hallway in the shelves with the books and all the flea meds so sometimes in the morning (when you weren't quite awake yet) you would turn around and see two eyes staring back at you... I almost peed myself a couple of times! He would also go into the staff bathroom and sit on the counter and yowl at himself in the mirror, or sometimes just curl up in the sink and go to sleep. When we finally had to say goodbye the entire staff cried. We kept a picture of him for a long time and had him privately cremated.

I am so sorry about the loss of your kitty. It takes a special "owner" to look after a Siamese. You must miss him dearly...
take care

Meghan September 16th, 2007 01:45:00 PM

Those of us who own Scottish Terriers are fortunate in that the parent breed club has a health trust fund. When, for example, a Scottie dies--as they do far too often--of TCC, friends can donate in the dog's name, specifying that the money go towards bladder cancer research. Those who have political differences with the club (and many do, sad to say) can often instead give directly to the institutions performing the relevant research. Rescue is another great option, as is one of my favorite canine charities, the Jean Dodds sponsored Rabies Challenge Fund. When we lost a Scottie puppy a year and a half ago, both vets and friends made such donations in her name. We also received flowers, cards, e-mails, phone calls and memorial gifts. All of these rememberances were welcome, and all were enormously helpful at a time when our family was overwhelmed with grief.

Lisa Paddock September 16th, 2007 02:13:00 PM

My heart goes out to you Cindy. May your memories bring you comfort.

Interestingly enough, my response to the question is also influenced by an experience I had recently with a beloved Siamese. Romeo http://www.flickr.com/photos/shelvis/sets/72157600... was a orphaned kitten that I raised/fostered for our local Humane Society. Unfortunately, he was also an unfortunate causality of the pet-food recall. His adoptive parents had fed him Iams and Science Diet during the time of the recall. He was returned to me when they could no longer afford or provide the extensive care that his body required. His vet and I did all we could but by that time the damage had taken its tole.

What I remember most about his vet in the passing is not how she followed up afterwards, but the time she took to with he and I during the passing. It meant so much to me that she spent more than 30 minutes with us, sitting on the floor, recalling all that he had brought to the world. She gave him a blessing (which fits into my personal beliefs.... I imagine she would adjust accordingly) and kissed him farewell before she made every effort to assure his passing would be gentle and comfortable. She truly was 100% present during his departure. I know that her time is very valuable (she is booked solid most days) yet, I could tell she truly cared. I can't say that about too many vets I have been through this with before. So to me, it's not so important how the vet follows up, but how much they are present and how willing they are to share the emotion during the event.

We are also blessed to have a mobile veterinarian in our valley that comes to the home for euth. when it is planned. Even though she is not our regular vet it has always felt more natural to me for the beloved to be in its own home and surrounded by its loved ones when the time came to leave. Again, she is very kind and compassionate when she arrives and takes great care to provide a special passing.

Shelly H September 16th, 2007 02:28:00 PM

My vet sends signed cards. Many of my friends have made donations to various pet charities and I have also done that. To me, it was a very touching and positive action to come from the loss of one of my beloved animals.

For those who want some support for their loss, many of the vet schools offer bereavement hot lines. There are also on line chats and forums for discussion as well as posting memorial photos. One such site is http://petsupport.net/ - chats are offered 365 nights a year.

Moira September 16th, 2007 04:23:00 PM

With Colin, who went into the office for his time, they offered a paw print, but I refused. I still would not have wanted one, and it's been almost two years now. They sent a card for Colin, and a card for Rags (who died at home). Both times, I was touched by their thoughtfulness. They also send me gift certificates for the Holiday Season. For Colin, we opted for home burial, and we were allowed to just go home, and take care of the bill next time we came in. And on that next time, the receptionist was hesitant to mention "the balance owed." Which was kind of her.

The humane society that I worked for did euthanasia on the cheap, but they used an older, very cheap toxin, and holding the animals down as they died was necessary. I've heard this isn't commonly used any more, for which I am grateful. But I am very happy to pay the $200 to make assurance double sure that it's a painless way to go than what I remember of the humane society. My husband still has nightmares of holding the dogs.

Georg September 16th, 2007 06:44:00 PM

I didn't get anything from the vets when my cats were euthanased (at different times) - not even a hug. I don't think they knew how to handle my tears, to be honest.

But another vet I sometimes see does send out cards, with a special message. Something like "we know how much you loved Fido and will miss him". I think the wording of the message is important, and where possible the card should have the appropriate species on the front - cat, dog, horse, bird.

robin banks September 16th, 2007 07:57:00 PM

At my vet clinic we send out signed cards within a week of the euthanasia (or if a client calls to tell us their pet passed away). If the animal is in any way one that we loved and remembered, we all write extra words to express our condolences.

At a previous clinic the owner sent flower arrangements to the "frequent flyer" clients who passed away.

I think a card with some personalized words ("We'll always remember Fluffy for her outspoken voice" or whatever the pet's quirk was) is the best way to go.

anonymous2 September 16th, 2007 08:42:00 PM

Luckily, I haven't experienced the death of a pet since I got Agadore and Beaner..... I have been petless for years. But I know, as much as I may bitch about prices, and argue about vaccinations, and differ over my choice of raw-feeding, I know my vets will be awesome when the time comes. They are both nuts about their patients... and it's very evident. One of our local police K9's had to be put down (years after he had retired). They still have a HUGE pic of him on their wall... in his memory. And they have come in on a moment's notice for me in the middle of the night.
And one poster, maybe you, DrK, said also some people don't handle feelings well..... that's very true. I can't tell you how many time at work(911 dispatch) that I have talked to parents of children who have just died, or families who call in after losing a loved one to a crime..... it's hard to acknowledge their loss without getting emotionally involved. But I do think it's necessary. It validates the life of the one you lost, whether it's a pet or a person.

Agadore's momma September 16th, 2007 11:31:00 PM

I think a gift to a pet-related charity is a wonderful idea, but I'd have been delighted to get a card acknowledging that the pet had been special to us.

We got nothing. T

hat and the folks at the desk made the same "Is this (name of 13yo GSD) when we brought in our 5 month old rescued Aussie - AFTER calling them with the details so we could be seen at a not-too-busy time because the dog had some behavioral issues and I didn't want her around too many other people.

As for the charge for cremation, we had the inexpensive option of the local humane society - with no return of ashes. We took that route many years ago with another dog and couldn't do it again. The pricier version (almost $200 for euthanasia and cremation 4 years ago for a 75 lb dog) was with return of ashes. The vet also had a less expensive, no return, option.

Judy September 17th, 2007 12:18:00 AM

I wonder how much extra people are willing to pay for donations to charity and the like? It seems to me that if the cost of euthanasia were raised to $1200, a practice could both make an impressive donation to charity -and- send the grieving client a tasteful gift certificate or a large basket of fruit.

Thing One September 17th, 2007 08:19:00 AM

Thing One: Leave it to you to swoop down and eat out the heart of the matter. Sure, there's an extra "death tax" added to every hospital's bottom line, but without it we wouldn't quite feel human.

Dr. Patty Khuly September 17th, 2007 08:39:00 AM

I would not want a donation or anything. I would want, and have received, a HANDWRITTEN card from my Vet and Techs and a note that briefly let me know that over the course of my tenure with said practice, someone at the office understood how much my dog meant to me. That is what we received when we had our Cocker put down and that, to me, is all that matters. I don't want a token or gesture to trivialize/memorialize my pet- even if it comes from the right place. But, my pets mean the world to me and what they bring to my life is intangible. Also, we were not charged for the euthanasia, just the removal/cremation. I thought that showed class and compassion.
For the record, I think Jan made a good point about office protocol after a patient dies. One person should be charged with always removing deceased pets from the records (paper and computer) and making sure the staff is kept up to date on the matter. How upsetting it must have been to have someone at the office ask about a pet that is already deceased. Eeesh.

Amy in Somerville September 17th, 2007 09:20:00 AM

My previous vet sent a very nice card when we had our pet mouse put to sleep. It meant alot. I was very upset after, and didn't expect it. It was just a condolence card signed by all of the staff.

I'm not sure what our current vet does. Unfortunately we may find that out sooner than planned. One of my cats has an untreatable Fibrosarcoma on his spine.

In Iowa September 17th, 2007 10:10:00 AM

I've been a passive reader of this blog for quite some time (I'm pretty passive on most blogs). But I happen to work at Morris Animal Foundation (and for a while directly with the pet memorials) and noticed the comment by Ellie. It's good to see that people do appreciate the cards we send on their vets behalf. I also noticed that Barb mentioned us. Thanks guys!

KB September 17th, 2007 01:17:00 PM

I might be in the minority here, but I don't think a card or anything is really necessary--it's nice, but I don't really expect my vets to have to keep caring for my pet after they are gone. I am lucky in that the place I go to has an excellent staff, from reception to techs to vets, so I feel very well cared for at the time, and that's enough for me. It's also very nice that the hospital I go to has a grieving room, located some distance away from the hustle and bustle of the exam rooms. To me, that shows that the hospital is thinking about clients' grief ahead of time, which in a way is even more important than thinking about it after the fact.

All that said, I have to admit it was nice to get a condolence card signed by most of the exotics staff at my hospital when I lost my ferret guy Ronan to complications arising from severe IBD earlier this year. He was a complicated case with IBD to a degree they hadn't seen before and nearly everyone there worked with him at some point or another. I did feel like the staff were sad to see him go as well, everybody was rooting for him but his body just couldn't manage it. Still, I felt like the card was a sweet extra, not something I was really entitled to.

Regina September 17th, 2007 02:22:00 PM

I've been fortunate that I haven't had to have a pet euthanized in a very long time. But I know from friends who go to the same vet I do, that they send sympathy cards after a beloved animal is "put to sleep." I think that's a wonderful and kind gesture, and would be quite sufficient for me to know that they care as much about my cats as I do.

If my vet were to make a donation in a deceased animal's honor, I'd hope they would donate to one of our area's three local humane society/no-kill animal shelters. I prefer giving to local groups rather than national ones, because I feel that my gift makes a real difference in the lives of pets in my home town.

I live in an extremely rural area (by Miami standards), and all the vets I know and know of in my area donate a lot of time to the local animal shelters and humane societies to help get pets fixed and healthy again. Because I live in a rural area, I know my vets aren't exactly making huge salaries and driving Escalades and all that, so I don't feel the need to ask them to donate more money.

JaneA September 17th, 2007 05:38:00 PM

I believe that some type of communication should be made after an animals death. Maybe a call, a letter, a stone or a hug.
My vet gives stones of the paw prints with the name on it. I think that gives you alot more than just a "sorry"... but a "I feel your pain and i can relate to your sorrows" type of feeling.

Speaking of sadness.
Have you all seen the ASPCA commercial with the song "angle" by Sarah Mccla... The first time i saw it on Animal Planet I cried my eyes out!!! But it serves as a great reach out I think it was exquisit.

Shell September 17th, 2007 05:42:00 PM

Well this hits a nerve. I took Oscar Wilde Wiener in for a routine dental today and his heart just stopped.
They could not revive him. He was only 6 or 7. We do not know he was just walking down the street one day and no one claimed him. Such a great dog.
Last April, my 6 year old Doxie/MinPin had to be euthanized after surgery for a liver shunt. The staff at U C Davis were amazing. They had a special box, casket for her all decorated. They sent a card and then a paw print. That was the hardest because I thought I was over her death. Hah!! I do not think I will every be over Hanna's death.

Today everyone at the Vet Clinic was wonderful. They all had known Hanna and now Oscar. It was hard for the young tech there. She had never seen an animal die during surgery even though she did not know Oscar personally.

I am the mother of a veterianarian and I know stories what what went wrong and how nothing could help. So I feel I must understand that it can go suddenly wrong even with all bases covered.
You choose a good veterinarian, a good doctor, a good spouse and that is all one can do. Sometimes it is just fubar and nothing can be done.

Eliza September 17th, 2007 08:32:00 PM

I am so sorry. Like you said, sometimes bad things just happen for no reason.

Diane September 18th, 2007 02:08:00 AM

My vet sends out cards with personalized notes in them.

If she thinks I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around what happened, I sometimes will get a phone call or she'll get what she wants to know through others. LOL I speak with one of her techs often, so the information she wants is gathered that way.

When I brought Mojo in for his last series of shots, we had a big discussion regarding cluster deaths as she knew that losing Oreo and Angel 24 hours apart was still bothering me at that point. She too experienced a bout of cluster deaths so she knew how I felt, so chatted about it. It wasn't a fun conversation by any means, but seeing how I have a houe full of senior pets for the most part, I know more cluster deaths are coming and she wanted me to know that she understands how stressful it can be.

Stacy September 18th, 2007 08:42:00 AM

My current vet and my previous one, when I've had a pet put to sleep, they sent a sympathy card. I appreciated the cards at the time, but dimly remember them now. What lasts in my memory is how nice, how warm and supportive and understanding they were when the time came to do the deed.

Lis September 18th, 2007 11:50:00 AM

When my brother said good-bye to his wonderful boxer, Taz, it wasn't at his regular vet's (the emergency vet handled the euthanasia after Taz went downhill rapidly). My brother asked me to please call the regular practice and let them know, because they were so very kind in Taz's last weeks, and he knew they'd want to know.

A couple days later, he received a lovely sympathy card and donation notice signed by his regular vet. A couple days after that, he went in to the practice to drop something off, and his regular vet was in the waiting room when he came in.

"Joe!" she said, "How's Taz doing?"

Oh yes, the staff forgot to tell her. And she was absolutely mortified.

Of course, she's a great vet and a wonderful person, and my brother takes his new rescue boxer to her still. And he certainly didn't hold the communication mishap against her or the staff.

Bet the staff makes sure the vets know what cards they send out now!

Gina Spadafori September 18th, 2007 06:10:00 PM

Gina: I've had this happen to me. If ever I'm lucky enough to get away for the weekend, I now make a special point of asking what happened while I was away. (Who died, in other words.) I also look at the recent "dead files" to make sure I didn't miss anyone. There's nothing worse than asking how Fluffy is doing when she died two months ago. It feels like @#$%!

Dr. Patty Khuly September 18th, 2007 07:54:00 PM

From different vets over the years, I've received handwritten cards and (once) a clay paw print. They were ALL sweet, and ALL much appreciated. I've kept them all - mostly because it's just nice to know you're not the only one saddened by your friend's death.

But as many have posted here, what mattered most then (and still does now) is their care, concern, patience, and professionalism in the actual euthanasia. I always stay with my guys through the procedure. And I've been very lucky always to have wonderful vets that gave me the sympathy and support I needed to say goodbye the right way. That's what really counts.

LauraL September 22nd, 2007 04:39:00 PM

I've just discovered this blog and am reading through back posts. I'd like to add something here, even though I know it won't be read by many:

If you (vet, clinic, hospital) send a card, please make sure it does NOT contain religious references unless you are extremely certain what would be appropriate for the particular client. That includes comments written by staff members. It may be comforting to a vet or tech to think that Fluffy is in heaven or "at the bridge," but writing that may cause yet another wound for a client who has a different worldview.

Thank you, Dr K, for this blog, and to all who comment.

M February 25th, 2008 02:31:00 AM

Add Commment

Your Name:

CAPTCHA Verification