The Pentagon has recently been forced to admit wrongdoing and change its tack. No, it’s not another Abu Ghraib, but it means more to some soldiers and family members of the fallen than another wartime prison scandal.
In this case, soldiers’ remains have been subject to cremation at facilities that handle both human and animal incineration.
Families and soldiers say it’s no way to treat the bodies of our patriots. The Pentagon now agrees. No longer will the war’s casualties be handled by places that service veterinary hospitals along with the local morgue.
With this mini-scandal, the implication is that the Pentagon will cut costs anywhere it can, feeding soldiers to the maw of cut-rate pet cemetery incinerators with impunity.
As a veterinarian that insinuation offends me. Not only does it disparage the fine work my local pet crematorium does, but the rational, animal-adoring me finds nothing untoward in having my family’s remains—human or animal—cremated in the same place.
Still, it’s clear that I’m in the minority on this one. We humans have a thing about our dead—more so when it comes to our military dead. The pageantry of death is ingrained in our culture in ways the clinical me is loath to understand.
Nonetheless, if you add a twenty-one gun salute and a ceremonially folded flag to the mix, the emotional, of-this-culture me sheds copious tears just like everyone else.
Though it’s rationally incomprehensible that any dead body require a fire better suited to its genetics and its social status, I guess I’ll have to give up expecting that humanity will think it acceptable that both humans and beloved pets be cremated side by side. After all, it’s still illegal to inter cremated animal remains with their humans in many parts of the US.
It’s obvious we humans still harbor a host of cultural hang-ups when it comes to death. While I’m gratified that the Pentagon has seen fit to cave to the demands of family members’ sensibilities on this one, I’m still hoping we’ll one day figure out that less separates humans and animals than our culture has contrived.
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I couldn't really understand the hoopla and outrage when this story hit. The crematorium has said that there were separate facilitites for animals and people. The crematorium has said that they aren't cremating people and animals together. As far as I know, there is no reason to think they are lying.
So what is the big deal? I don't know why it would be consiered "disrespectful" for a facility that cremates pets to also cremate humans. Cremation is cremation.
Frankly -- if I were going to be cremated -- it would soothe me to think of my ashes being comingled with those of animals, who I consider innocent and lovely. As it is, I am planning on buying a burial plot in the complex where my beloved cat Toonces is buried. There is a small pet cemetery in this complex with several human cemetaries, and space available in the human cemetery directly across the road from the pet cemetary. I am going to be buried as close as possible to the pet cemetery, I'd be buried IN the pet cemetery if I could! My headstone will say: "This is as close as they would let me get to the pet cemetery."
I really am baffled and frankly, a bit indignant that all these people consider it "disrespectful" to have the same facility cremate humans as pets.
hmmmph.
Stefani May 13th, 2008 10:07:00 AM
That's... really bizarre. Heh. If anything, I've found that pet crematoriums are better than the human variety.
When my ferret died, we had him cremated, and received back a lovely ceramic urn, a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem, and a lovely certificate stating that my pet was treated with care & compassion.
When my grandmother died... we got a cannister that said "Cremains. Contents: [Grandma's Name]". No poem, no "treated with care and compassion". As far as we know, they tossed the old girl onto a bonfire in a hefty bag.
I'll take the pet crematorium any time.
Donna May 13th, 2008 01:10:00 PM
Totally bizarre. If you want to 'protect' your loved-ones remains, then don't cremate. Do people really think they get every bit of grandma back when they cremate?
2CatMom May 13th, 2008 01:26:00 PM
While I don't find it offensive, not even remotely (after all, my best-beloved family members _are_ a dog and two cats), I'm sorry, but it should have been self-evident to the Pentagon that some people would be a _lot_ offended. That, in fact, some people's religious beliefs would be violated by this. And these are our soldiers, men and women who, regardless of how much I or anyone else disagrees with this war, are over there getting killed because they agreed to put their lives on the line for our country.
Extra care, including being fussy about stuff that I wouldn't ordinarily regard as an issue, is required.
Lis May 13th, 2008 01:26:00 PM
I will be the last to defend what I consider the excesses of the funeral industry, and I personally would have no trouble imagining my remains co-mingled with those of my beloved pets. In fact, I think it is rather comforting.
However, there has been much publicity about the lack of consideration given our soldiers in terms of inferior protective equipment, clean water, unfit housing, poor medical follow-up care, mental health support, and outrageously extended tours of duty. Many families are already bitter about the disrespect being shown our Armed Forces by our government.
Given that, I can see that the families of fallen soldiers would have some trouble with our government treating the remains of their loved ones like dogs.
Call it the Tillman Effect.
Sue May 13th, 2008 01:37:00 PM
Good post, Dr Khuly -- although you had me confused about your own opinion for the first several paragraphs.
As a pet lover and a Certified Funeral Celebrant who creates and conducts Celebrations of Life for both humans and pets, I can see all sides of this situation. I, personally, would have no problem being cremated in a facility that has a chamber for humans as well as one for animals; in fact, I would be fine being cremated in an animal chamber. At the same time, I agree that the *perception* some people hold that humans are shown disrespect by being cremated by a company who also cremates animals is important to consider.
As an aside, though, I'm sure the same people who asked the military to change cremation contractors would not hesitate to go to a doctor or dentist whose offices -- say, at a strip mall kind of professional park -- were in the same building as a veterinary clinic. My sense is that it's the lack of information people have about the "death care services" (because of their "hang-ups when it comes to death," as Dr K notes) that makes this an issue to them. As always, a lack of information can lead to unsound decisions.
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the use of the word "commingling" in the above comments, but I do want to clarify this: With humans, there is never (supposed to be) *any* commingling of ashes or multiples bodies cremated in the same cremation chamber at the same time. I think this misperception comes from pet cremations -- in which an owner chooses between an individual cremation and the cremation of multiple animals together.
Dr K, re your comment that "it’s still illegal to inter cremated animal remains with their humans in many parts of the US." Just so you-all know, there are many funeral homes and Funeral Directors who will not question what is in the items a family member places in a loved one's casket. A different form of "don't ask; don't tell."
Stefani, there are pet cemeteries where humans can be buried beside their pet(s). I'm not sure whether it's legal in all states, but you might want to see if there's one in your area. And/or, keep an eye out for "green burial" cemeteries, which are opening around the country. They don't allow caskets or vaults (bodies are buried in shrouds). They might allow animals to be buried with humans. (This is pretty new on the North American continent, so make sure you understand the terminology being used by any given cemetery.)
Sue, I love the idea of having my ashes commingled with my pets' when it comes time – even though I won’t be there to witness it. Thanks for that beautiful image. :-)
Thanks again posting on this, Dr K. We all learn from the conversations you start here.
Marcella May 13th, 2008 10:16:00 PM
I echo the sentiments regarding the loved ones of our servicemen. Although, I personally wouldn't find it offensive to be co-mingled or one of "my" loved ones co-mingled; I respect the wishes of others that do.
The subject of cremation has been on my mind, in a different context. Does anyone know about the process itself?? Does anyone know how long, say a 40 lb. body would take to become ashes? How big is the average pet furnace? Are collars removed? Just curious about all the technicals.
And what kind of silly laws prevent burial of pet ashes with people? Is there some concern of biohazards? Or confusion of co-mingled ashes (DNA) if the person is exhumed decades later?
Personally,I loved having my old gal "Dottie's ashes" interred with my Mother.I was pallbearer for "two" that I loved dearly. If my family is agreeable, I hope to have a little mention (of Dottie) on her monument---my Mom would have loved it too! My friend/ Pocket's co-breeder passed away and had 5 of her dogs ashes interred with her, and why not??!!
Barbara A. Albright/New Hampshire May 13th, 2008 10:36:00 PM
I would be honored to have my final remains creamed in the same place as so many loved pets.
RE: pet remains in casket. Many funeral homes will not question it other than not wanting explosive substances for cremations are willing to comply with anything... though they like to be warned about golf balls and golf clubs so they know what's making noises in casket when they move it.
Many families and cultures have traditions of having home country earth with the deceased, special tokens from religious to sports...
There was a elderly lady who wanted her deceased cat's remains buried with her. (Cat died of natural causes years earlier) To be certain this would happen she put in her will and let family know she wanted to be buried in her wedding dress. Family was mystified since she didn't love that ex-husband or think fondly of that wedding... her friend new and kept her secret! She sewed her dear kitties ashes into the hem of the wedding dress!
A Wisconsin funeral home director (worked for many locations) told me of the horrific news that often when (often elderly) people with pets die, families (often!!!!) have those pets put to sleep and the bodies added to the casket!!!! Sometimes it pets no one wants or because they knew their relative loved that pet!
So, please make arrangements for your pets in your wills; some states such as Illinois have made Pet Trusts legal.
rose May 14th, 2008 04:52:00 PM
1st sentence above should have cremated not creamed! Oops!
rose May 14th, 2008 04:58:00 PM
Re:
"Stefani, there are pet cemeteries where humans can be buried beside their pet(s). I'm not sure whether it's legal in all states, but you might want to see if there's one in your area. And/or, keep an eye out for "green burial" cemeteries, which are opening around the country."
That all sounds great. But the kitty love of my life is already in the ground, and he's not in one of those cemeteries. So, I shall go to the human cemetery nearest him.
That green burial think IS really interesting to me, though. I can't stand the thought of having my physical remains drained of blood, the veins filled with embalming fluid, and then having my now-practically-plastic body put into an airtight steel casket.
I far prefer the idea of the more natural option -- being food for scavengers. Since I doubt they'll let my family leave my body outdoors, what I am hoping for is a) NO embalming, and b) a porous, non-airtight pine box to be put in the ground. So my body can FREAKIN decay and be eaten by beetles, etc. the way its supposed to! I am unsure whether this is legal however.
Stefani May 15th, 2008 03:23:00 PM
Marcella, Thank you for replying to my post. I think I'm going to handle my next pet cremation a bit differently, and make an "appointment" for the process.
Stephani, I always thought caskets were "airtight" too. To my surprise, they aren't! I had forgotten to have a Mother's Day card put into my Mom's and at the church asked the funeral director if he would open it back up. To my surprise, he slipped the card in under the lid.
For myself, I can only hope to have many "useful" parts left for donation & then cremation, since I have no kids. And feeling a bit "broke", despite a modest "full funeral" for my Mom, I am so very glad we had a wake, beautiful flowers, and a step up from the cheapest casket. I never thought I would feel that way, but newly dead in a hospital bed was not a pretty sight & one that I want as my last "memory". She looked beautiful & peacefully sleeping.
Most made donations, but to go "green" with flowers----suggested by the funeral home. Send "baskets" of mixed potted plants & cut flowers. And a gorgeous hydrangea bush w/ another indoor plant (can't remember the name) was a beautiful living "reuseable" tribute.
Barbara A. Albright/New Hampshire May 17th, 2008 04:16:00 PM
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