Pithy aphorisms abound in all professions and practices. Whether you milk goats for a living or paint in oils, there’s something somebody somewhere says that’s intended to make your job more intelligible…or perhaps simply entreats you to do things their way.
Same is true for veterinary medicine. In vet school we’re exposed to a continuous stream of these alternately folksy and blackish-humored maxims. And they stick with you—whether you want them to or not.
Not all are specific to veterinary medicine, of course, but here’s a sampling of the things we were taught either in school or by those old-timers showing us the ropes early in our practice lives:
For all us perfectionists out there here’s one that really keeps things in perspective: The enemy of “good” is “better.”
To assuage the ego of those who, contrary to our expectations for stellar surgeons, make big incisions: They heal from side to side not end to end. (Though that’s not exactly true.)
Then there’s the surgeon’s mantra: A chance to cut is a chance to cure.
And here’s its corollary: The way to heal is with cold blue steel.
If you think about it, all the fun sayings I can remember are mostly applicable to the surgical component of the veterinary job. And that doesn’t seem quite fair, does it? That’s why I decided to seek some counsel on this.
The result? No good answer from the internal medicine crowd. A surgeon’s perspective on their close-lipped stance? “Internists need six paragraphs to say anything…and maybe a cardiology consult before they’ll commit to it.”
But this answer wasn’t good enough for me so we did a little research and dragged up three more great medical sayings:
This one’s my boss’s favorite, especially when he’s trying to placate an unruly owner impatient for results on a course of treatment: All it needs is some tincture of time.
Here’s my favorite, if only because the surgeons need a little comedown every once in a while: The pen is mightier than the sword: the case for prescription rather than surgery.
And then there’s the tried and true, even better in Latin than anything we could ever devise in our unwieldy English: Primum non nocere. (Above all do no harm.)
If you can come up with others, I’d love to add them to my list.
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If you hear hoof beats, look for horses, not zebras.
Elizabeth - from Nova Scotia May 29th, 2008 10:03:00 PM
oh yeah - that's a good one elizabeth. i'm a zebra-looker for-er. and cancer too - cuz when you go to vet school - all you see are the big baddies!
homeless parrot May 29th, 2008 10:10:00 PM
Ever hear this one regarding Ivermectin & herding dogs? My vet says in vet school they always said, "White feet, don't treat." It was because Collies, Border Collies, Shelties and Aussies often have white feet.
Tracy May 29th, 2008 10:56:00 PM
We have a few...
"The dumbest kidney is smarter than the smartest clinician."
"Surgeons- often wrong, never in doubt."
And the mantra of our awesome large animal therio professor: "The three things that you always must remember: gentle, with care, and lots of lube."
Our derm professor has the most fantastic sarcoptic mange dance to remember the common sites of alopecia associated with infestation, but you really have to see it to appreciate it. *sigh*
Megan May 30th, 2008 12:03:00 AM
What about "all bleeding stops eventually"?
I have heard that uttered in surgery on more than one occasion. Usually by me trying to calm a very stressed surgeon!
Meghan RAHT May 30th, 2008 12:34:00 AM
Never let the sun set on a pyo.
In regards to lactate levels,"over 7 go to heaven."
I'd give anything to be able to see the mange dance. :)
robyn w May 30th, 2008 01:24:00 AM
How about"When in doubt, cut it out"
Patty P May 30th, 2008 06:58:00 AM
I've heard almost all of these--I guess I'm going prematurely senile.
And one more: "Bleeding is not significant unless it's audible."
Dr. Patty Khuly May 30th, 2008 08:51:00 AM
Megan: you MUST film this. I will not accept NO for an answer. You can put it on Youtube and I'll link to it.
Dr. Patty Khuly May 30th, 2008 08:54:00 AM
Nothing dies without steroid first (or some variation there of).
Alli May 30th, 2008 09:28:00 AM
Patty P, the techs use one similar, "when in doubt, throw it out."
robyn w May 30th, 2008 01:16:00 PM
Alli
"No cat should ever die without the benefit of prednisone."
Meghan RAHT May 30th, 2008 01:38:00 PM
"Don't kill old rolling dogs" (idiopathic vestibular disease).
"With enough lube you can put anything anywhere" (I think that's from a large animal repro lecture).
"Transfer to Jesus."
And, of course, "real doctors treat more than one species!"
Deborah May 30th, 2008 05:03:00 PM
robin w, shouldn't phosphorus be added to over "7"----? wonder if lactate ever measures in "triple digits"?
Actually, most of the medically -oriented sayings are identical in the human field. My favorite that I have heard recited (by a vet) twice, is "above all do no harm"---isn't that applicable to everyone, every single day, regardless of field employed?
Barbara A. Albright/New Hampshire May 30th, 2008 05:53:00 PM
"It's a long way from the heart"
ralphsmydog May 30th, 2008 06:43:00 PM
IF you've got livestock, you've got deadstock!
white feat don't treat
when I am about to shoot an x-ray I alwasy say : Measure twice shoot once
bladder surgery: Leave no stone unturned (ha ha ha more of a joke my coworkers are sick of me saying)
Erin RVT May 31st, 2008 05:07:00 AM
A good surgeon knows when not to cut!
If you are not happy with my colleague,you likey be unhappy with me eventually. (to a client complaining unreasonably about their last vet)
Hobson June 2nd, 2008 03:03:00 PM
thank you sir
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