Some vets are charming soft-talkers who recruit your involvement in your pet’s care with their winning, whitened smile and a penchant for flattering, incandescent lighting.
Others might well be better vets (or not)…but their delivery leaves much to be desired.
We vets can’t always be all be all things to all people. But some clients demand the whole package—on every visit. And that’s not always going to happen. In fact, it almost always won’t.
Case in point: The client I referred to a local internist yesterday. After explaining that her dog required a higher level of care than I could provide, I sent her to see my favorite internal medicine diagnostician with caveats in hand about expenses, wait-times, etc.
Immediately after her visit to the specialist (still in the hospital’s parking lot), she calls me on my day off to complain about the guy I sent her to see. Here’s the list:
1) He couldn’t tell me what was wrong with Fluffy
2) His staff wanted me to pay as soon as I agreed to the estimate for the tests he wanted to do
3) I won’t be allowed to be next to Fluffy during all the tests
4) He was kind of mean
Granted, my preferred internist can be somewhat gruff at times. But it’s also pretty clear that her expectations were unreasonable. So here’s where I get to my point:
A vet with a brilliant bedside manner can usually set anyone at ease on the first three points. After all, it’s only a matter of explaining why the policies are in place and pointing out the obvious: “We’re trying our hardest to find out why Fluffy is sick. Unfortunately, her situation is complicated and we need to run tests. I know you understand that—otherwise Dr. Khuly wouldn’t have recommended that Fluffy see us.”
But all that’s easier said than done. When an owner is being [even understandably] demanding despite your every attempt to relax him/her, it’s easy to get annoyed and abandon the bedside decorum you know would serve you—and the pet—best.
Which brings me to point number four:
It’s really hard for vets to keep it together 100% of the time—and for some vets it’s tougher than for others. Some of the best vets I know, clinically-speaking, don’t always handle clients really well. Yes, they can seem “mean” at times.
In fact, that’s sometimes why vets go into specialized medicine: They prefer a more academic, scientific path. They want to take on more challenging cases that require more patient-specific face-time. They don’t usually like spending as much time as generalists do on easing your mind and making sure you’re satisfied. In many cases they’re well aware they don’t have the patience or the skills for the human side of their practice.
But does that mean they can’t do what needs to be done to cure Fluffy better than anyone else out there? Nope.
When I go to a specialist for my own healthcare I know I’ll be waiting longer in the waiting room. I know I’ll be paying more. And I definitely know that my doc won’t appear to care about me as much as my general practitioner does. Of course I expect explanations. But I don’t expect a stellar bedside manner.
In my case even the general practitioner I’ve selected is a crotchety older woman with a notoriously caustic tongue. And why do I put up with it? Because I’ve come to learn that she’s good…real good.
So why is it so hard for some clients to accept that sometimes the best vet won’t the one who will put you immediately at ease?
She won’t always make you laugh. He won’t typically spend thirty minutes explaining things or take the time to write his cell phone number on the back of his business card for your personal use. She won’t necessarily smile or even say good-bye in a personable way. He might even lack for personal hygiene.
Nope. Most won’t inspire automatic confidence in the James Herriot sort of way we might like. Some vets will even treat you [almost] like dirt—as in, you’re there but you’re not why she’s bending over to smell the flowers. She’s all about your oh-so-aromatic pet.
And isn’t that ultimately what you want?
So here’s my recommendation the next time you see a new vet: If you can find it in yourself to trust the person who referred you just long enough to figure out if this cranky vet’s poor bedside manner is worth it…you might just realize you’re in the same room with the greatest veterinarian on planet Earth.
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Obviously we'd all prefer to have both. But diagostic and clinical skills, and being conscientious and on the ball as a doctor is way more important than bedside manner, if one must choose.
Stefani October 15th, 2008 08:54:00 AM
I think you conflate the ability to communicate with people with doe-y eyed hand holding here.
Yes some clients have unrealistic needs and expectations. But dealing with people and with animals is not a dichotomy. Front line veterinarians treat client's pets. The animal is there because it has and owner and is being treated as a service to that owner. Therefore the job will involve dealing adequately with human anxiety, greif, confusion etc etc.
Being able to handle a typical range of basically sane clients in intrinsically part of being a front line vet. If that is not in the skill set there are or other career options in the lab, necropsy room, backroom specialties, food supply, regulatory groups etc that do not include that requirement.
emily October 15th, 2008 09:49:00 AM
emily: Agreed...I admit to raising some confusion between the kind of vet that makes you swoon and the kind that's clear and direct. Both can be examples of excellent bedside manner depending on an owner's preference. But I think owners confuse this, too. When their wishes don't match up with a vet's style they often can't look past it to the potentially brilliant vet before them.
But I should also mention that I don't necessarily agree that the human/animal element is the same for all vets. Some DO prefer dealing with the animals and they're much better at this than dealing with the people. Vets who want to treat live animals directly for a living (i.e., they don't want to become pathologists or work in food supply) don't have another choice but to deal with the human owners.
Moreover, within that skill set (dealing with humans) there is a range of competency. It'll always be the case that some vets will have more of it than others.
(btw, I didn't mean to single out specialists in this post; it's just the most recent example I've got and I may have run away with it a bit)
Dr. Patty Khuly October 15th, 2008 10:09:00 AM
I once went to one vet practice for a number of years. There was one vet there that no owner wanted to bring their pets to because he was so bizarre and difficult to communicate with. He tended to repeat odd phrases, couldn't make eye contact, didn't seem to connect with people.
The vet everyone wanted was the practice owner, who had a great way with people, and seemed kind, connected, and concerned. He also remembered the name of every pet, always.
Then I went to work as a receptionist at that same practice. I learned that the weird guy was actually the best veterinary surgeon in the practice. The worst surgeon in the practice? The owner with the great bedside manner. Also learned that the practice owner was not practicing such a high level of medicine in general. The weird guy has since moved on to greener pastures - a better vet hospital.
FarmFashion October 15th, 2008 11:36:00 AM
I don't care if you are the greatest vet on earth, you have to be able to communicate with the clients...because they are the ones who have to make the decisions. If you can't make a person of reasonable (note: I'm not even asking for average, I'm shooting for higher than average) intelligence understand what the situation and options are so they can decide what treatment their pet should have, you should not be in a profession providing care. Either learn to communicate or go into research.
Susan October 15th, 2008 12:06:00 PM
All of your comments are really good.
I guess the bottom line is:
a) poor interpersonal skills with clients CAN affect quality of care you provide (you really need to listen to the client tell you whats been happening, and interact personally to help the client make decisions that are best for the pet). If you don't have the basic interpersonal skills to do that, then it's going to be hard for you to be a good vet because you will never have the whole picture (symptoms, trends), or the client won't have the whole picture (options, etc)
b) A great bedside manner (having an affable warm personality that makes clients like you) without clinical skills can be deadly, or at least dangerous
c) Good clinical skills without interpersonal skills may also compromise care, although perhaps less dramatically/frequently as b)
Having said that, the image that's coming to mind when I read "FarmFashions" post is TV's Dr. House. Lousy interpersonal skills, annoying, brilliant diagnostician. Would you want him on your team? I would.
People aren't always what they seem, and the people most adept at fooling others are often those who *have to be*.
Stefani October 15th, 2008 12:52:00 PM
I'm one of those who doesn't like touchy-feely vets.
I have heard some people complain about my favorite vet that he is "cold" and "distant"- which I could never figure out why. He is always courteous and to the point, giving clear explanations.
Too bad that he went on to manage his own emergency clinic and will no longer be my primary care veterinarian :(
On the other hand, when I took my CRF cat today to another vet at the clinic (who is highly recommended) for the first time since my dog Julie died last month, she surprised me by attempting to kiss me in condolence over my dog (she was the last vet at the clinic to check the Julie before I went to the emergency clinic).
Ummm. No.
I don't like to be kissed by people other than my close family, especially without warning.
Even when I was crying over Julie's body just after she died, I declined an attempt for a comfort hug from the vet on duty at the emergency clinic.
Come to think of it, "my" vet was the only vet that didn't attempt to comfort me by touch after Julie's death- all the other vets both at my regular clinic and at the emergency clinic tried.
I guess what I'm trying to say that "great bedside manners" differs from person to person. The trick is to find a great vet that also matches your own communication style.
And if I can't find one- well, I guess I can live with an unwelcome hug on occasion...
Xslf October 15th, 2008 12:53:00 PM
Oh I certain think a lot of it is personal style. Personally I abhor, really hate, vets that baby talk my dog and swoop down to let him lick them on the mouth. I went to a university teaching hospital where the vet basically was teaching the three students to act like this. Ew. My dog, also unused to this kind of behavior, got freaked out and ended up wedged under a chair refusing to come out.
emily October 15th, 2008 03:23:00 PM
I closely identify with this topic and admit to being one of those pet owners who wants a veterinarian to be ALL things, mostly because I'm also one of those people who "know too much." I say that because never in my life did my animals see a veterinarian who I didn't work with everyday--until I left the profession and moved away from all the veterinarians I knew and loved. Suddenly I was faced with anxiety about choosing a doctor who I didn't have intricate knowledge of how they practice medicine. It been tough getting over myself. :)
Somyr October 15th, 2008 03:40:00 PM
I second Xslf. I'm uncomfortable around touchy-feely vets. A blunt, yet thorough explanation is better suited to my personality.
When my German Shepherd suddenly showed signs of illness, her veterinarian informed me of the severity of her problem (cancer), gave his condolences, asked for my wishes, and promptly hung up leaving me to deal with my emotions in private. He offered to wake her from sedation to be present during her euthanasia, but highly recommend against that option. While some may see this a cruel, I appreciated his blunt opinion on the inhumanity of forcing a dog through this experience for the owner's benefit. His practice not only arranged her cremation, but sent a imprint of her paw along with flowers. I didn't want hugs, I didn't want kisses, and I didn't want a plethora of people giving their condolences. During such a difficult time, I could not have wished for a better beside manner...straight and to the point.
And, I cannot stand when a vet starts the baby talk with my current dog. She's a Cattle Dog mix and high-pitched, cutesy voices gets her jumping (something I've worked hard to break) and wound up. Between attempting to gut any cat she spies and wanting to investigate every corner of the hospital, the last this I need is her vet unintentionally making it worse. Last time she needed a visit to the back for paw pad abrasions because she ran too much. I warned the vet to keep her away from the cat area if she even wanted to get Devin to stay still. The vet replied, "Oh, little Devy-wevy couldn't possibly do anything to da nice wittle kitties." The next thing I heard was my high prey-drive pup going bonkers in the back.
Gabi October 15th, 2008 03:57:00 PM
After my 7 mo. old GSD spent a weekend in the ER Vet, w/ pneumonia- I took him to my regular vet for 1 more day of IV fluids and meds as suggested.When I got him, I was told that he should have more nebulizer treatments for the the next 3 days. They would lend me the machine and I'd pick up the meds. Great, how many treatments did he have while he was here all day;I know he had about 4 per day over the weekend. NONE...Why? We didn't have the meds for the machine. So, it's important enough for me to do it at home,but he didn't get any here for the last 8 hrs.Of course, I took my boy home,did the treatments,returned the machine, and advised that I felt the standard of care was FAR below what I was willing to provide for my pet. I now have a vet who is a "horse person" in a companion animal practice. This is where he is, this is my suggestion,what do you think we can do for your dog. I just want straight facts & how to get a healthy outcome!
andrea October 15th, 2008 04:14:00 PM
Great comments. It's true that no one can be all things to all people. In more ways than are discussed here. Everyone has to find a vet that the feel comfortable with, and we vets are human too. I personally know of a vet that everyone wanted to see b/c he could sell socks to a snake...charming, charismatic, etc...they'd see him over myself or a colleague who was a very good vet and very good with ppl too...but guess what. He was not a good vet. He didn't really pay attention to what the pet's prob was, had no compassion, always took the easy way out or whatever made him the most money, lied to clients, oh yeah, the list goes on...my point: the general public has no idea. It's like they said in vet school, if they incision looks good, they assume you're a good surgeon. You could be the best surgeon in the world but if that incision and clip job ain't perfect, you must be incompetent right? Not so...clients don't generally know enough to really see what's going on.
Christine October 15th, 2008 06:01:00 PM
Christine - The questions is then. what tools do we clients have in order to tell the difference between the charming and not so good vet, and the less charming and excellent vet?
Xslf October 15th, 2008 06:15:00 PM
I have to disagree too. I've seen all kinds of personalities both in human & animal, specialty & generalists. And even within that scope, different presentation depending on the individual's day or workload. I've tried my best to roll with the differences and not make judgments.
Unfortunately, as Christine said, we on the outside can't possibly know the behind the scenes, and it usually takes a significant amount of time/visits to be able to reach reasonable conclusions. We all wish there was some kind of identifying "badge" worn.
My suggestion would be to sort of "warn" of a gruff or serious, no nonsense personality-type, with your honest conviction of the quality of care to expect. I don't think it could hurt the situation.
Barbara A. Albright/New Hampshire October 15th, 2008 06:29:00 PM
I'd like the excellent vet with poor bedside manner when my pet is savable, and the maybe not so competent vet with excellent bedside manner with he's not.
Basically, if I'm getting over emotional about my pet... I want some handholding. Otherwise, hell, I don't care WHAT your personality is, explain to me what's going on, what you're going to do, and what I need to do, then get back there and work on my pet!
Donna October 15th, 2008 07:09:00 PM
Like Barb said, it takes a long time to be able to evaluate professional skill as distinct from impressions.
But it's not just "touchy feely" vets we need to be wary of.
For example, the vet that totally did my cat wrong had a personal manner that I found appealing. I would not have called him touchy feely. Rather, the way he "seemed" fit in with my own biases.
He was a fast talker who appeared very sure of his opinions and questioned the approach of the vet I'd previously had my cat go to -- so much so, that he convinced me to switch practices. It wasn't "warm fuzzies" that fooled me. It was my perception that he was an overachieving nerd, and therefore, my baseless assumption that he must be smart/competent.
To top it off, the place was AAHA certified. Which I later learned means nothing in terms of clinical quality.
So what did I do? I transferred my cat's care from a top-of-the-line practice a half hour away, where he was being seen by vets who were, apparently, clinically superior to the second vet, and who had MUCH friendlier/gentler bedside manner to boot -- basically because this guy was a "fast talker" and I bought into his self confident, analytical, intellectual geeky persona.
Little did I know that he did not have one single solitary licensed technician on staff (I didn't know enough to ask). Little did I know that he was going to leave my cat and his other patients in the care of his son who was crashing in the basement, who wasn't a trained vet tech. Little did I know any of that.
So, I left a "touchy feely" vet who was almost certainly clinically superior for a vet who was less "touchy feely" but whose nerdy intellectual fast-talking overconfident appearance appealed to my own biases. Because I wanted "smart" over "touchy feely". But turns out, he switched my cat to a WORSE insulin and then left him with someone who didn't know the difference between a tuberculin syringe and an insulin syringe.
I didn't know enough to question any of that, and unfortunately, my cats overdose is how I learned how naiive I had been.
Just watch your own biases. Try to get data. Ask questions. Don't be relieved that the VET seems like a skeptic, who questions and criticizes the approach of other vets telling you he can do better for your pet (this fooled me), but instead, do research yourself. If I had asked around about this guy, I don't think I would have fallen for it, but I did.
Those of you who appreciate bluntness and directness -- that is also a bias. Touchy feely also doesn't mean less skilled, any more than direct and unemotional means skilled. You too, can be fooled if you allow your own personal likes/dislikes when it comes to bedside manner dictate vet choice. Try your best to get, and rely on, objective evidence. I learned this the hard way.
Stefani October 15th, 2008 07:17:00 PM
Stefani, That still isn't much of a consolation. How do you find out data? Oh sure, a few states publish a certain number of statistics and data, and as some of us know, the worst of the worst can be shielded from the public.
Yes, you can tally up your list of "avoidances" based on others' stories, but that still is no guarantee of anything. Ask some dog people, a lot of them have no clue, but the "bottom line" and could care less! Ask pet-owners, some of them are impressed by personality not substance, and think pet care is annual vaccinations and stool sample.
And last, but not least, years of patronage and many $$$$ doesn't guarantee a thing, as in my own horrible experience---left out to dry with a long-term departed vet. Sure would have been nice to be handed a short list of what to do and where to go!!
If you are not on the inner circle or privy to "the back room", you are operating on faith and trust.
Case: co-worker notices her older cat getting very sick, brings cat to vet and says "I think the prescription food is the cause"---"No, no that can't possibly be", puts cat in hospital on IV, few months later pet-food recall is announced. Cat-owner thinks vet is still "sliced bread", the best!
Barbara A. Albright/New Hampshire October 15th, 2008 08:12:00 PM
I want a great vet! The care that my cats get is of utmost importance to me. I am lucky enough to live near a university teaching hospital and have the most amazing internal medicine resident who started with us when my senior catgirl was fed later-to-be-recalled food and then given metacam. The combination basically blew out her kidneys. She continues to have issues 2 years later, but her vet has been right there the whole time.
What I most appreciate is that she is willing to check things out and ask questions or do research if she's not sure about something. And she is honest, brutally honest, but in a very respectful and compassionate way. I know that she tells me the truth and never sugar-coats it. But I also can tell that she cares deeply about my catgirl and me.
I think that being a great vet has to be the most important and realize that personalities will match or not, depending on the owner's as well as the vets. I've had experiences both ways and will choose a competent vet any day of the week.
With that said, I try very hard to be respectful and informed myself and to be reasonable in my dealings with my vets. So, sometimes it can go both ways. I've seen owners who have made the vet's life miserable, too.
Dottie October 16th, 2008 08:04:00 AM
Donna: A fine line, that one. But it's very perceptive of you to recognize that different situations do call for different measures. And, again, yours is a clear recognition that all vets can't be all things to all clients.
Dr. Patty Khuly October 16th, 2008 09:03:00 AM
Do I prefer to have a vet in the know of latest research & treatments!? YES.
So do I prefer nice over A-1 mean vet care? NO
I have a vet who's actually very mean (even yelled at me once). EEK. He saved my dog's life though after my regular vet tried endless # of treatments. Scary dude but he knows his stuff.
So, I'm one of those who doesn't care much for nice, I just want an amazing vet who knows latest treatments and is up to par on what's out there. For me, that's important.
lolasmiles October 19th, 2008 09:15:00 AM
Every vet will rub some clients the wrong way. No one person can be everything to everyone. It's simply not humanly possible.
That said, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a basic level of civility from even the shortest-tempered, yet brilliant, clinician. The biggest thing about vet med is that you are dealing with the people, not just their pets. This is not to say that a vet can't have a bad day or not deal particularly well with a demanding and/or annoying client, but I think that basic politeness should be expected.
Barb Albright: "If you are not on the inner circle or privy to "the back room", you are operating on faith and trust."
As is the case with every interaction anyone has with anyone else. If I am rushed to the ER, do I automatically assume that every doctor is corrupt and inept, that every nurse is barely licensed, or do I evaluate the care I recieve and the ultimate outcome? There are bad apples in EVERY PROFESSION. Bad doctors, bad vets, bad mailmen, bad customer service representatives. You cannot possibly control every interaction you have with everyone. What if it turns out that my mailman is actually a child rapist? Do I begin a crusade against the USPS? There's a certain level of crapshoot with EVERY interaction you have with anyone. You can choose to do your research and seek out the best *** (doctor, vet, mechanic) you can find, but ultimately every time you have someone who is not you do anything, you cannot possibly control the outcome.
I am part of the "inner circle" at my vet clinic and my vet screwed up a biopsy by not writing down the specific locations of where she took each sample. Aside from performing the procedure myself (and I am not a vet) I don't know how I could have prevented that. It happened, she apologized, I moved on.
Yersinia Pestis October 19th, 2008 10:17:00 AM
Yersinia p. (I luv your name): I am glad you give me the opportunity to once again compare the differences of the veterinary profession and the USPS, for an example.
First of all, as far as the veterinary profession, yes indeed, there are wonderful professionals, qualified, ethical, moral, and compassionate that practice good medical care. Over thirty years, I have gotten the best of the best, along with the worst and deceptive.
The stark difference between the USPS and a licensed veterinary profession is accountability. First of all, you do not become employed at the USPS with any criminal background, even so much as a "bad" driving record. Secondly, if as an employee, you commit a "felony-crime" both on or off the job, you do NOT retain your job. No one circles around you, to protect, lie, or aid and abet.
Prosecution and loss of employment is what happens, no excuses, no "this is the first time & I am sorry" It is a huge difference and provides deserved "integrity and trust" of the public.
Unfortunately, the public rarely sees any accountability by a licensed medical professional, since by its very nature, complaints, investigations, etc. are supressed , guarded, regardless of number. And it is a profession, where the "best of the best" will silently protect those that drag them down , despite knowing the immoral, fraudulent practice, and harm to companions and people that is perpetrated. It is a very "stark" and sad difference.
Barbara A. Albright/New Hampshire October 19th, 2008 11:06:00 AM
I believe you need some level of communication skills, or at least listening skills, to be able to get a full picture from the owner. I have had vets ignore subtle symptoms, yet to me they were important and possibly an aid to diagnosis. I don't want hand holding - just a vet who will listen. Despite how good they might be as a vet, they don't know your animal the way you do.
Robin October 19th, 2008 10:07:00 PM
Yersinia pestis: What a screenname...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yersinia_pestis
Dr. Patty Khuly October 20th, 2008 09:27:00 AM
Greeting. Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it. I am from Czech and also now teach English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "Airline tickets with instant reservations for last minute airline tickets,airfare packages weekend getaways about our cheap last minute airline tickets." Best regards :-), Fisk.
Fisk April 4th, 2009 02:09:07 AM
My mother is a veterinarian which allowed me to grow up in the veterinary atmosphere. I know that all veterinarians at some point going through vet school are taught customer care. But I do have to side with the vets sometimes about getting cranky with their clients. After all some people do dumb stuff and cause injury to their animals that could have been avoided. So veterinarians get tired of beating their gums at clients that do the same things over and over again. Some people don't get it unless they are pritty much yelled at; others just need a soft voice and they understand everything you are saying. On the other hand veterinarians are supposed to be able to interact with animals and be able to read body language, so if they can do this with animals then they should be able to read facial expression as they are talking with the owners of these animals and change their tone of voice if they are overwhelming the customer causing them to dislike you as their veterinarian.
After all veterinarians need to take a deep breath between appointments and not take it out on the next appointment they are seeing next.
Then to the customers of these animals: The veterinarian only sees your animal when it has a problem or when you bring it in for vaccinations so if you do not tell all of the detailed information to your veterinarian they have a much harder and more frustrating time trying to figure out what is wrong with your animal. They to want to be able to help your animal get back on his feet again. So the more information you provide to them the easier it is for them to diagnose the problem and get your animal back on its feet. And also remember veterinarians are not magical, so do not wait until your animal is at deaths door and expect them to save your animal. I don't know how many times I have seen this happen in the office my mom owns. We ask how long has the animal been sick for and they say well we noticed it wasn't right for a few weeks now. And we trying to help your animal can't do much when it is now in a coma because you neglected to bring it in sooner because your thought the animal would get better on its own because you didn't want to spend the money. things like this is what makes veterinarians get a bit cranky and i DONT BLAME THEM. Show respect to your animals and care for them properly and you will be much better off and have a much better relationship with your veterinarian.
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