Daily Vet Good day, bad day…personal musings on TV pets, smart trainers and an unwelcome surprise
Yesterday dawned early for me. 5 AM found me flinging borrowed garments into a bag, feeding sleepy goats along with bemused dogs, and waking an ornery child from a deep slumber. Time to go!
My 6:30 AM cattle call 45 minuets away meant the Starbucks run would have to be crammed in there somewhere. Drop off kid. Drop off dogs. Coffee. On my way.
The destination: A park up in Miami Gardens where the hair and makeup RV awaited. Lots of professional primping, wardrobe-ing and miscellaneous prepping later, I was ready for my turn in the spotlight: fifty-plus attempts at “Rrrrrrrolem!”
No, it’s not my big break…just another TV commercial for some vet’s-day-off income and a chance to get out of my “normal.” (We all need that, right?)
This was a CapitalOne credit card commercial. Funny…they won’t lend me money but they’re happy to pay me.
My co-star? One “Monty the Jack Russell,” a star in the making as far as I can tell. He’s got looks, spunk and pizzazz in a calm-but-spoiled sorta way. He’s my kinda dog.
We bonded. Here he is enjoying a break with his trainer, a sassy and smartly opinionated Ms. Marino from West Palm Beach.
And here he is proving that when you’re short and fabulous, the camera comes to you.
Needless to say, we had fun. And while I was getting chnaged in the RV’s curtained-off back room, I got the chance to overhear that the produces were paying Monty double my human fee.
Jeez…is there no one left on set who commands less than the “talented” vet? Monty’s tax deductions alone probably amount to more than my yearly take on this sideline income. Guess they’re paying more for looks and less for know-how, though Monty probably beats me on both counts.
Sigh…
Oh well, can’t complain. It’s a pre-Christmas bonus for me…for doing next to nothing.
As if to compensate me fairly for an undeserved freebie, some higher power took it into its hand to deal me a special blow on my return. When I pulled onto my street I spied my copper Smith&Hawken mailbox (a gift from my sister), dethroned from its perch and lying desolate on the swale in front of my house.
What evildoers have been here? Who would do such a dastardly thing? Was it a garbage truck malfunction? Would I find a neighbor’s gracious mea culpa on my front door?
Nope. Getting closer, I realized the mailbox hadn’t been hit by a truck; it had been imploded.
An improvised explosive device had been inserted into its belly, causing it to suffer extremes of personal damage, most likely at the hands of our friendly neighborhood vandals (or perhaps a disgruntled Dolittler fan in disagreement with my take on feisty Chihuahuas?—joke).
Here’s a pic of the damage, with police presence in abundance (pipe bombs raise eyebrows, even in Miami—see the bomb squad truck in the background?):
Here’s a close-up of the IED, a muriatic acid infused, aluminum foil ball-packed Coke bottle (someone’s been looking up Anarchist Cookbook-sponsored YouTube videos):
Good news is on the way, though. What the neighborhood vandals don’t know is that my McMansion-owning next-door neighbor has a motion-activated video camera sweeping the street 24-7. And another neighbor heard the blast at 2:30 PM. In the end, we’ll get those kids before they can manage to put “juvenile detention” into a reasonable sentence.
Monty could teach these idiots a thing or two about appropriate human behavior. With all his experience playing co-star to prima donna veterinarians he’s gotta know more than the average teenager, right?
December 17th, 2008
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Add Comment25 Comments
So glad you weren't checking the mail at the time of the explosion!
YesBiscuit! December 17th, 2008 10:07:54 AM
(1) Did you get to play with the Capital One WARRRRR Kittens!?!?!! I demand that you renegotiate your payment to include said warrrrrr kitten and then send me one. :c)
Do keep us posted on when we can see your ad. I was in an ad as a child (dad was in the business) and it was a lot of fun, despite the demands to shave a half second off here, ad a half second there.
(2) WTF is going on with the kids in your neighborhood? Don't they have any taste? They seriously need to take their mailbox hatred out on those ugly fiberglass jobs with scenes of ducks on them instead of your classy industrial chique box.
I'd make a trip down to the local hardware/pool supply store and ask about recent purchases as well. Most teenagers can't sit on a purchase like that for more than 10 minutes before they call their friends, and this isn't really the time of year for high volumes of sales of that stuff.
And as long as we're talking pools, just remember that cyanuric acid (half of the lethal melamine concotion that kills pets) is a very common ingredient in pools. It's so stable, you add it once a year and it stays and stays, unlike chlorine that gets eaten up by sunlight (that's actually its purpose... it's like sunscreen for chlorine, keeping levels higher longer).
Christopher December 17th, 2008 10:12:06 AM
Christopher: Thanks for your comment on my taste--industrial chic, yes, totally my style. ;-)
On the Coke bottle no fingerprints--the petroleum in the Coke bottle is melted bc of the blast. So no serial numbers, either. On the muriatic acid: Everyone's got pools in my neighborhood ('cept me, of course) so no chance on finding the culprit that way. Good news is that the cops were there in a sec and the bomb squad takes this seriously due to past loss of life from this kind of prank-bombing.
On the cyanuric acid--I was under the impression that no one used this as pool acid any more. In our area the ionized water pools are getting very popular--so no chlorine, even. The systems are expensive but if I ever get a pool I'll never use anything but an ionized water approach. Pet owners should look into this as it's undoubtedly safer for animals who drink pool water regularly.
On the Capita One kittens--I have no idea what you're talking about. For all my industrial chic I don't yet have a TV. ;-)
Dr. Patty Khuly December 17th, 2008 10:38:52 AM
Wow, that is freakin scary. Hope you catch em.
Stefani December 17th, 2008 10:59:59 AM
Oh, I hate those huge high/huge low kinda days.
Well, I'll be keeping my eye out for the add - we had a mastercard with a puppy on it, got comments all the time. Although I find it odd that the dog's making more than you. Our retriever starred in a movie, and his fee was not that substantial. He was required to perform some pretty complex behaviours, too... don't get me wrong, we would have done for free - he passed away this past November and we have the most incredible way to remember him now - but his training certainly took less time than yours. ;O)
As for the punks/losers and their pipe bomb, fingers seriously crossed that this was a chance occurence. It's amazing what people will do when you've upset them. I've had people threaten to firebomb my house after I reported them to the SPCA for beating their dog in public, and my dogs have been threatened with theft and poisoning after I broke into a woman's car to save a dog who was vomiting from heat stroke (incidentally, the SPCA let her off, because they couldn't prove the dog was in the car - because I had let it out. To hell with the dozens of people who had come into my store begging me to come and do something and had witnessed the entire thing... grrrrrr).
So far we've been lucky, but now we try to do rescue pickups/dropoffs at other people's homes... I'm much less comfortablel with people knowing where I live now.
It's a sad world we live in... for soooo many reasons. :O(
Kim December 17th, 2008 11:35:38 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yosTIwbFjzM
War Kittens December 17th, 2008 12:44:21 PM
I'm glad that nobody except the mailbox was injured. When my family moved into a new neighborhood many years ago, we were subjected to a lot of petty vandalism so I know just how this kind of thing can really rankle. Hope they catch the perps and do the equivalent of putting them in the public stocks.
regina December 17th, 2008 01:40:29 PM
*starstruck* i can't wait to show people your commercial and boast that i read your blog. lol.
sorry about your mailbox. i'll blame the puppymillers.
Charity December 17th, 2008 01:54:34 PM
Excellent War Kittens! What's in your wallet? For the record, I think Monty will eclipse me on the TV commercial. In the end you'll probably just see my Cuban backside walking away as Monty steals the show. ;-)
Dr. Patty Khuly December 17th, 2008 02:07:24 PM
Hope they catch the little weasels that blew up your mailbox. Glad that no one was hurt.
Will be keeping an eye out for the ad!
Cindy December 17th, 2008 02:17:53 PM
Thinking it over more, perhaps the mailbox bombing was the War Kitten union fighting back for Capital One using a dog in their ads. I've been compiling <a href="http://borderwars.blogspot.com/2008/04/war-kitten-armed-and-ballistic.html">photographic and video evidence</a> of said War Kittens, and even a game where you can fling one across the screen in Robin Hood meets bungee jumping fun.
Christopher December 17th, 2008 03:39:53 PM
Would really like to know what goes through somebody's head.. Thank G-d no one was hurt.. Really hope they catch the culprit.. We're having a problem on Long Island with hate crimes.. Right now it's against Hispanics.. but there have been different minority targets..
If you need a laugh.. I bought a lamb shank.. gave it to Socks.. He didn't know what to do with it.. Left it.. Came back, and lights must've gone off in his head.. He had a grin on his face.. I didn't have to take it away, as he finished the meat, and left it..
barri December 17th, 2008 08:13:41 PM
OMG glad your family and you weren't anywhere around! and congrat's on the commercial ! Wow what a day ! yikes...
LC December 17th, 2008 11:58:43 PM
So glad you weren't hurt! Hopefully they'll catch the culprits soon. Congratulations on the commercial! Several of my dogs have done ad and commercial work, but we never got paid much. At all - but it was fun and I'll do it again anytime. Amateurs vs. professional I guess.
Barb December 18th, 2008 03:44:25 AM
Sorry about your mailbox. If you want the weekly copy of The Flyer and Sedanos' and Winn-Dixie inserts, you can have mine. ;^)
Chip December 18th, 2008 11:56:46 AM
Chip: No thanks. I do have to call the IRS to make sure my refund check wasn't in the mail, though.
Dr. Patty Khuly December 18th, 2008 12:13:31 PM
Hi there! I'm Monty's Mom I'm so tickled at the blog you posted about meeting him.He's sleeping in my lap as I type... He's a great dog that I couldnt be more lucky to own.He HAS been quite busy working lately and with a face like his how can you blame the advertisers!! He's even in the Marley and Me Movie along with several of my Labradors including that adorable puppy shown in the trailers running down the beach. I now have his most precious little daughter that is in all ways a Daddy's girl.... so world look out for Monty and his baby girl Mona!
Monty's Mom December 24th, 2008 07:32:11 PM
Monty's Mom!! Thanks for reading! you should be tickled. We were just talking about his amazing personality last night. He's got the perfect mix of silly dog, smart thing and stubbornness. I love him!
Dr. Patty Khuly December 26th, 2008 08:24:57 AM
Hi Patty, I was wondering as the human co-star of the commericial do you get a heads up on when the air starts being shown? They might tell Monty on set but he never seems to remember to tell me LOL
Monty's Mom January 10th, 2009 11:26:09 AM
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fahad March 18th, 2009 07:38:25 AM
Glad your family and you weren't anywhere around! and congrat's on the commercial ! Wow what a day !
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