I hate people sometimes. Strong words for a peaceful Sunday morning, right? There I was, sitting at Starbucks, recovering from catering my mother’s lavish annual holiday party (75 peeps!), just cooling my toes in a cappuccino…when the phone rings:
Unknown number. S---! Should I answer it?...why not?
Is this Dr. Khuly?! Dr. Khuly my cat is dead. Dead! This is the third cat I’ve taken to your hospital and they’ve all died. The other doctors killed the other ones but this one is on YOU!
Really? Why the hell did I answer the phone? What could I possibly have done to deserve this?
Here’s what: A dog-owning client, this woman also keeps a colony of ferals in her garage. We’ve spayed and neutered them for her at the feral cat rate we set for “good’ clients who do good deeds (basically free).
Last year a couple of her cats came down with something infectious and we couldn’t figure it out. She didn’t want to spend a lot of money so we muddled through the best we could. We eventually euthanized them because they were not responding…and suffering.
Then came yesterday’s cat: First it was a mission to get her to bring the cat in. She wanted a “stray cat rate.” Meanwhile, we’re in the midst of a busy Saturday morning handling all the emergencies we could. Finally, I convince her the cat needs to come in…now!
Kitty arrives panting, lungs crackling with fluid. Owner declines bloodwork and X-rays, since she’d “spent so much money last year for nothing” on the other cats. I offer to euthanize the cat, explaining that he’s in terribly dire straits, suffering, likely beyond aid with or without a serious cash outlay. Nonetheless, X-rays are agreed to in the wake of this discussion.
Interestingly, it looks as if this cat might have a pneumonia complicated by some allergic bronchitis—something along those lines, anyway, based on the X-rays. This is a pretty fuzzy tentative diagnosis but it’s something to work with. Nonetheless, owner refuses to hospitalize her cat at the 24-hour hospital. She wants to take him home since she doesn’t want to spend more money unless I can guarantee an outcome.
“We can try antibiotics, bronchodilators and subcutaneous fluids as a very rudimentary approach. But if he continues to breathe like this you should really consider euthanizing him if you choose not to opt for intensive care. Cases like this are extremely complicated even in the best medical settings. Home care will not be enough.”
Apparently, this owner tried calling me several times last night. Otherwise occupied in normal human endeavors (the whirling dervish cook for an elaborate seven-course meal), I didn’t have my phone on (I explicitly told this owner I would not be available).
The kitty decompensated and died last night. And now it’s MY fault. For not being available. For giving her a bum diagnosis. For offering her false hope.
Seriously?
“I’m very angry and that’s my position.”
“I’m sorry for the loss of your kitty. I truly wish he could have received the care his condition merited.”
What else could I say?…and happy holidays to you, too!
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Add Comment40 Comments
I love the Santa cat picture, too perfect!! A colony of ferals in her garage?? The description makes me think of more of a cat hoarder than an altruistic cat rescuer. How healthy can that atmosphere be to prevent spread of disease, particularly respiratory?.
Yes, some people are just freakin mean & wonder where their responsibilities lie. In our state , it was publicized that SE NH had several altercations "against" the linemen trying to do their job. Sure, everyone is stressed to the max, but is there need to go extreme---violence and harrassment?? Scary, very scary.
I wouldn't term this client a "pet-person" Barbara A. Albright
Pocket's Story from NH December 21st, 2008 11:34:51 AM
Some people are just butts and fail to see the rolel they play in their own misery. I am willing to bet this person breaks out the blamethrower on most of life's disappointments. You did what you could, she chose to not take the advice offered and now doesn't want to deal with the consequences of her choice.
Have another venti mocha...and don't answer that phone!!
drsteggy December 21st, 2008 11:40:37 AM
It's not your fault the kitty died. You can't be at every place at every time even though people expect that of you. After trying to contact you unsucessfully, why didn't she seek out the nearest animal emergency facility. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Greg December 21st, 2008 12:02:06 PM
I think it's really sad that people don't take responsbility for the choices they make in their pet's care. I've been in the position of balancing finances for pet health care against human need, and am always very willing to take responsibility for the choices I make. It's not my vet's fault if I decline treatment and an animal dies. It's also not the vet's 'fault' if I choose to euth them. I would likely have taken the offer of euthanasia. Point is - this person has some other issues. I agree with the first comment - this does not sound like altruism, but a hoarder, and a hoarder seeking a handout. Negotiating about costs with a very ill animal in front of you, then refusing euthanasia AND diagnostics AND treatment...
I fall into the "doesn't want to spend a lot of money" category, which I think is why I felt compelled to respond. The costs of pet health care have risen pretty dramatically in our area in the last few years, and we've found ourselves looking at needing to make different choices both in care for the pets we now have and in how we'll handle acquiring new pets in the future. (For example, large breeds are off the menu after the $350 a week human prescription for an Akita's Cushings). I believe strongly that if you choose not to make the financial investment, you need to take responsbibility for the outcome. Even if you DO choose to make the investment, you still have to bear some responsbility. To blame the vet for a personal choice of inaction is completely inappropriate.
melissaknits December 21st, 2008 12:10:35 PM
I am always amazed at the people who want to blame someone else for their decisions. Kudos on the response--not sure I would have those sane words if put in that situation.
Suggestion: do not answer your cell phone to unknown callers when you are having a day off--that is what emergency services operators are for.
BTW: Happy Holidays to You!
Find me blogging at Ark Animals.
Ark Lady December 21st, 2008 12:20:12 PM
People projecting their own guilt / anger / sorrow aggressively at you instead of themselves is always hard to deal with. Heres an excellent article talking about it if you are interested. http://www.work911.com/products//defuse2.htm In the heat of the moment its easy to forget that their anger is about THEM, not you, so long as you have done your job competently and ethically, as you did do in this case.
Circe December 21st, 2008 12:36:14 PM
It is most certainly NOT your fault that she is a brainless idiot. To think it's OK to not treat the cat in the first place??? To not call the Emergency Vet when she couldn't reach you????
What a wanker.
Good, measured response on your part, though!!!!
Hope your Christmas is filled with happy and healthy animals and good pet parents.
Cindy December 21st, 2008 12:50:43 PM
“The doctors killed Garfield; I just shot him.” – Charles Guiteau
Circe December 21st, 2008 01:13:21 PM
You told her what the most likely diagnosis was. You told her the chances of survival were small at best and the cat would certainly die if it wasn't hospitalized. She chose to take the cat home anyway, and the cat died. I know you must feel awful, but I don't think she should be keeping cats in her garage if this is the best she can do.
Diane December 21st, 2008 01:14:47 PM
Sounds very not-fair of them. I know you have a hard time shrugging this stuff off, which is a good thing about you. But this is one you should shrug off. Poor kitty. So treatable. It's rough when people can't figure out whether or not they want to commit fully to treating their pets.
Stefani December 21st, 2008 01:25:58 PM
Wow, I am in awe of your response to her....Mine would of included alot of bleep..bleep...bleep..and a recommendation for a human prescription cause clearly the OWNER needs medication ! LOL
LC December 21st, 2008 02:28:19 PM
Happy Holidays to You!
http://bramjlive.com
khaled December 21st, 2008 02:38:41 PM
Sorry Patty, The only thing i can see that you may have done wrong is to continue to see this person as a client considering her past. Can you send her a copy of her records (which include statements regarding her declining services) along with a polite, sickly sweet letter advising her to seek services elsewhere where she may be "better satisfied?" When I have done that (which is rare) they either come back apologizing and become much better clients or they go away forever. Life is too short for this kind of abuse. You shouldn't let people like this poison you. Get rid of them so you can concentrate on the people that respect and appreciate us, there are enough of them around that we do not have to take on everything that walks in the door. My 2 cents Hobson
Hobson December 21st, 2008 02:45:35 PM
I couldn't agree with you more.. Jimmy Buffett wrote a bunch of songs.. The one that comes to mind, shows the same opinion.. MEAN PEOPLE S--K.. On a bright note.. I was reading today's Newsday.. In the USA weekend there was an article by John Grogan (of Marley, and Me).. He was given a puppy from the movie, and the puppy has a major bilateral hip anomaly.. He called the breeder to inform them , and was offered another puppy instead.. He then thought of what would become of the defective pup.. He now has Woodson.. and Woodson is now a pampered house pooch.. Don't you know that the ones that you cater to, give you the most grief.. I can sure think of a bunch.. If you need a laugh.. Was picking dad up at the dialysis center.. Socks was with me.. They have a huge fish (I mean BIG) in a tank.. The fish did some kind of flip, and splashed Socks.. Socks freaked out, and couldn't get out the door fast enough.. Socks was shaking like a leaf, and terrified..
barri December 21st, 2008 03:46:37 PM
Not that it's much consolation, but I get E-MAILS blaming me for a pet's death! Full of spelling and grammatical errors and LOTS OF ANGRY CAPS. Paraphrasing a recent one, in my early-morning e-mail check:
"You ddn't answer the e-mail I sent last night about the dog who licked up antifreeze. He died this morning, no thanks to you. I don't see how you can write about animals because you don't care about them."
Uh-huh. Let's recap:
You observe dog lapping up a known poison. (If you didn't know it was poison, why did you write me?)
You search the Web for free "cure," and end up e-mailing a syndicate pet-care columnist.
Your pet dies before said columnist picks up the e-mail, so you write again, assigning blame. Apparently your dog died without you ever even calling a veterinarian, much less rushing your dog to the veterinarian as any normal person would do.
And this is MY FAULT?
Sorry about the dog. The person, not so much. Why do I suspect a person who would write an e-mail after her dog laps up a known deadly poison probably had an ignored outdoor dog, with little to no shelter , moldy crap food and a near-empty dish of green scuzzy water?
Shake it off, Dr. K. We love ya!
Gina Spadafori December 21st, 2008 03:49:10 PM
If and when the legal status of animals is elevated to a higher level that just property I hope that people like the ones mentioned here will be held to a higher level of responsibility and suffer legal punishment for their negligence. I think this issue needs to be addressed and owners held to a higher standard, not just Vets.
Hobson December 21st, 2008 04:52:55 PM
I agree with Hobson. Time for this women to find another vet. YOu can't possiblybe making any money on her with all the discounts. And she really does sound like a headcase so you'll never be able to reason with her. And Gina - my first reaction was "you're kidding" - then I realized you weren't. Unfortunately, the stupid gene is alive and well in an awful lot of our species.
2CatMom December 21st, 2008 05:55:35 PM
Hobson, There are already animal cruelty statutes in most states, that are "intermittently" enforced. Neglect & allowing suffering would certainly be applicable to the above case, and possibly "shelter" infractions---cramming a feral colony into a garage!!
It was sometime ago that a not-so-well-to-do person was arrested and charged in Dover, NH , home to Dover Veterinary Clinic, with animal cruelty for not following up on subsequent veterinary care for his dog. I believe the timing to be shortly subsequent to my own filed and "not" investigated charge of inhumane euthanasia administration. How ironic for this upstanding police department concerned with animal welfare.
Barbara A. Albright of Chester, NH (90 minutes from Dover,NH)
Pocket's Story from NH December 21st, 2008 06:52:07 PM
So sorry you had to deal with that first thing in the am. And so frustrating I am sure for you a professional who cares about these animals enough to give so many services for free to feral rescuers. I wish you were near me. Would make my vet bill better. Keep up the good work and have a very nice holiday.
anonymouse December 21st, 2008 09:22:39 PM
Hobson: To your benefit, the AVMA would never promote or support a law change elevating companion animals' status! This change would bring about accountability for ALL! I'm pretty certain the majority of plaintiffs under this new law would be guardians not veterinarians! The good news might be that the profession would become more "self-policing." http://alabamavetboardwatch.110MB.com
Fotini December 21st, 2008 10:07:01 PM
melissaknits: I agree that euthanasia is a perfectly reasonable option. Respiratory difficulties in cats are a nightmare--especially in strays or ferals that are hard to medicate. I really try to do everything possible to convince people that the stress of working to breathe is a horrible place for a cat to be. But some people can't be convinced. Sad.
Dr. Patty Khuly December 22nd, 2008 08:59:11 AM
You can't reason with crazy cat ladies.
You rock Dr. Khuly. You did your best.
LolaSmiles December 22nd, 2008 09:07:00 AM
Dr. Khuly,
Wow. How rude of her. I hope you were able to enjoy the rest of your cappuccino.
Ms. Spadafori,
What an oh-so-charming email from I'm sure an equally oh-so-charming specimen of a pet owner.
People need a heaping helping of take-responsibility-for-your-actions with some common sense on the side.
Michigan Pet Lover December 22nd, 2008 10:03:17 AM
Ok, so lets just *pretend* for a moment that this woman has some merit (and I am in no way saying she does) So you answer the phone, and talk to her in the middle of the night about her cat. What does she do then? nothing because she does not want to invest in the cat to begin with. What could you have offered her that would have been free? This woman is off her rocker and just needs to blame someone so she can stop blaming herself. and as sad as it is, the cat is in a better place.
Connie December 22nd, 2008 12:15:14 PM
people are stupid. you can reason with crazy cat ladies but just plain ignorant you cannot. anyone in breathing distress needs aggressive medical care. i am sorry that women was too cheap and too much of a know it all to get her cat help. i understand when people cannot afford costly medical care but they need to live with the outcome good or bad. personally i drive and old car, make do with what i have when i can, have only 1 pet, so i can afford the best medical care for my cat. dr. khuly, you are a much nicer person than i am as i would have told her what i thought.
katy December 22nd, 2008 01:54:52 PM
Update: Staff says I should have "fired" her on the spot. Me? I try not to let my anger get the better of me. Sometimes I win this battle, sometimes I lose. If I had said what I wanted to I probably would've felt like crap afterwards. At least she's got my calm words to mull over as she wonders whether she got any satisfaction out of the exchange or not.
Dr. Patty Khuly December 22nd, 2008 02:50:40 PM
Actually Fotini, I do not agree with the AVMA's stance on this, so their position does not really benefit me. I think that it is hypocritical to promote and profit from the human animal bond and then abandon it when things go wrong.
Hobson December 22nd, 2008 03:01:40 PM
Hobson: AMEN!
Dr. Patty Khuly December 22nd, 2008 04:29:16 PM
I don't see a problem with killing a person with kindness.. Being polite, and pleasant is my way to go.. It catches people by surprise..
barri December 22nd, 2008 07:14:04 PM
I agree with barri, sometimes it is a huge fault of mine, but ingrained nonetheless. You would have GIVEN her satisfaction if she sensed ruffled feathers & nasty anger. YOU are the better person and got the BEST of her....if she has any smidge of any common sense.Barbara A
Pocket's Story from NH December 22nd, 2008 07:45:46 PM
I'm having trouble reconciling the "good deed rate" -- i.e. free care for the Cat Lady Collection -- with your stance on multiple-pet discounts.
Guess I just don't see the social value or moral high ground of maintaining a lot of ill-cared-for cats that one will quickly disavow as "not mine" when it is costly/inconvenient, but claim as the Best Beloved when they die for lack of medical treatment. Pet ownership without the "ownership" part, as it were.
I pay regular rates for my pets (cats), search and rescue dogs (but hey, where's the good deed in that?), and a steady parade of foster dogs who invariably need to be neutered, vaccinated, stripped of parasites, and frequently fixed up in other ways before being adopted out. You can bet I'd be spitting nails if I found out that my vet was subsidizing the local Cat Ladies with the fees he's charging me.
Anyway, yeah, welcome to Cat Lady Land, aka, "It's Everyone's Fault But My Own." Been dere. There are certain humans who believe that once you do them a favor, this somehow obliges you to always and forever continue to do so. They do NOT believe that it engenders any obligation to you.
H Houlahan December 23rd, 2008 12:19:39 AM
H Houlahan: Good point on engendering feelings of entitlement to special treatment when doing things for free or at a discounted rate. That's why I prefer to discount as a special courtesy (by way of "charity") to clients who i believe are doing a service to animals. I pick and choose where to discount my services--not so with across the board discounting as in the indiscriminate multiple pet discounting situation.
For the record, I'd have never speutered this woman's cats at a discount. I never liked her to begin with. One of my colleagues chose to do her this favor. And I'd bet he regrets it now.
Dr. Patty Khuly December 23rd, 2008 08:36:42 AM
well if she is that unhappy with all of you ? why does she sontinue to use you ? I dont know how all the good animal doctors do it day after day it takes an extroidinary amount of courage and compassion
jim December 23rd, 2008 10:23:43 AM
Dr. Khuly,
I have to say that I truly respect your ability to hold it together and NOT fire the client on the spot. I have seen, and work with a veterinarian that can't seem to hold it together under stress. I also work with one that can. I have always been more responsive to the criticism of the vet that can hold it together than the other. The reason, when she starts to talk, I immediately go in to defensive mode because of her past explosions.
If you now fire her, in writing, it is nice to think that you *may* get through to her.
Finally, as for the AVMA's stance, I am scared to death of what will happen if the status of companion animals is ever raised above what it is now. The cost of veterinarian malpractice insurance is currently what $250 per year through the AVMA? I really believe that an increase in this cost would be yet another nail in the coffin of the animal welfare community.
Jackson December 25th, 2008 05:46:01 PM
I do not think that the change of pets legal status is going to change Veterinary medicine as negatively as many think. At least I hope so. But what many in the profession are afraid of is people like the one Dr Khuly encountered being more inclined to sue or file complaints with the State board (and attorneys more inclined to take on such cases) when there is increased chance of a financial reward. I really don't think that we are trying to protect the bad apples in our profession. But this is a good example where Dr Kuhly's life could be made miserable by someone like this when Dr K did nothing wrong.
Hobson December 26th, 2008 01:37:12 PM
Hobson: But wouldn't it be great to take Mrs. X's complaint and counter-sue? I'd like nothing more than to showcase her misdeeds in a court of law. Problem is the expense. I HATE the idea of paying lawyers when we'd be far better off policing ourselves more appropriately.
Dr. Patty Khuly December 26th, 2008 06:12:43 PM
FYI - I am not the Greg who posted above. I will always post my last name for clarification. Hobson - well, good for you. I am very pleased to hear a vet support a pet's change in legal status. I think it is needed, because sadly, I think your profession does an extremely poor job of policing its own. There must be accountability somewhere in the profession and it sure is not coming from the state veterinary boards. I firmly believe Boards ARE protecting BAD apples. Also, without an expert witness, cases are dead in the water in the courts. My experience was that other local vets did not want to get involved. I had to go out of state to a university to find a vet willing to talk (the great Dr. Carl Osborne), but did me no good for a lawsuit. I've said this before: If the decent vets are not willing to really stand up and fight for the integrity of their profession, by speaking out and up against the "BAD apples," then they are no better than the vets who are negligent. I commend both you and Dr. Khuly for your stance on pet's legal status. Now if you can just convince your colleagues.... As far as this particular client? If she were to sue, your malpractice insurance would cover you (and it's pretty cheap, right?) and everyone here can plainly see that her case does not hold water. So, no worries there - right? What's an extra gray hair or two, anyway? LOL.
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