The first cat I ever had euthanized, on my own, was for Reason #6, I couldn't stand to see him suffering anymore.

I'd adopted this cat, whom I named Castor, and his brother (named Pollux) from the local animal shelter on my 13th birthday. The year was 1981. We weren't a wealthy family, and back then it really wasn't the done thing to consider spay/neuter as a serious option. Shelters didn't spay/neuter pets before they were adopted out, especially tiny shelters like the one in our rural area.

So with that back story, I'll fast forward to the year 1990. Pollux had become one of the inevitable casualties of the road while I was still in high school, but Castor remained alive, wandering around, doing his tomcat thing (spraying, fighting, mating). In the last year or so, my mother had reported to me that Castor was getting mouth sores that would get better with antibiotics and then return when the antibiotic treatment was discontinued. Finally, after the fourth round of this, the vet suggested a test for a relatively new disease called feline immunodeficiency virus. Castor came back positive. At that point we all knew it was pretty much a matter of time.

When I came home from college for my summer break, Castor was really sick. He  lay on the couch and rarely moved--even to eat or go to the litterbox. I went to pet him and he growled and snapped at me. That was it. I was heartbroken at his pain and angry at my mother that she had allowed him to remain in an obvious state of suffering. In tears, I told my mother that I couldn't let him go on like this anymore and I would take him to the vet to be put to sleep. I called and made the appointment, I took him in, and sobbing like I'd never cried before, I held him as the vet gave him the injection. The last words he heard from me were "I love you, Castor."

I drove home from the vet and sat in the car and cried for half an hour.

I've been fortunate not to have had to make that decision about any of my own animal companions since then, but I have supported other family members and friends as they've struggled with this decision.

What would I do in the future? If it becomes necessary to make that decision, I pray that I'll err on the side of compassion.

JaneA March 20th, 2009 09:16:05 AM

What would you do [if it was your dog/cat/Mom/Dad]? 

I learned a while ago with human doctors that this is the magic question. For many it seems to snap them out of their automatic clinical response and really empathize with the patient / family. It can lead to a moment of blunt honesty that is sometimes hard to get in end-of-life medical situations.

Larry March 20th, 2009 09:28:37 AM

I've had the responsibility of ending the suffering of two of my beloved dogs. 

The first was a 14 month old GSD with a terminal illness (Muccopolysacridosis) .   I ensured that the short life she had was pain free and as high a quality as possible.  The day I could not meet those two needs, I helped her leave.  In this situation, I found out she was terminal at 4 months of age.  So I had a lot of time to prepare.  My vet and I had many discussions on when the right time would be and I trusted her to let me know when it was time to stop fighting.

The second was my 8.5yr old Rottweiler.  He had intestinal cancer.  I made the decision to euthanize him the day the test came back positive that it had reached his lymph nodes.  My vet told me we could support him for another few weeks if I wanted to, but why?  Would it have been for me or for him?   At that point he had pretty much stopped eating and his quality of life had dwindled away.  He was my heart dog, and losing him still has a profound impact on me.  But making that decision that day was not difficult.  To do otherwise would have been selfish and cruel.

So the answer for me, is that they were a combination of prevention of further suffering and knowing the time had come.

We are able to give our pets a gift that we cannot share with our human loved ones.  The assurance that their final hours will have dignity and be as pain free as possible.  It is in my opinion, the final act of love and devotion we show them in gratitude for all they have given us.

Alisson March 20th, 2009 09:59:43 AM

Thank you for posting this. We've added a thread about this post in our Coping with Loss discussion forum. If there is one thing we've learned about end of life decisions for our furry soul mates, it is that the more prepared you are, the easier it is. This, and that it is never really easy.

After we appeared on Nature's Why We love Cats and Dogs, we received hundreds of comforting comments on the PBS website and our blog posts about how we knew when it was time to say goodbye to our dear Jerry.

tripawds.com March 20th, 2009 10:16:52 AM

This topic is one that really sucks!  Your article is good but letting go of a family member is hard.  The thing I personally do to gauge when "it's time" is to make a list of 3 to5 things that the dog used to LOVE to do, it varies by dog obviously but here's an example.

1. Swimming

2. Retrieving in the back yard

3. Hiking

4. Tug games

5. Eating

Now if your dog is in pain but is very good at hiding it and is just less active I think we tend to hold on sometimes a bit too long, even ignoring the fact that they are in pain.  But if they are in pain, don't move around a lot and don't like to do any of their favorite activites anymore.  Well that isn't much of a life is it?  I know for sure it's going to be VERY VERY hard to let my current Chocolate Male Lab go when it's time(he's only 17 months), we've grown really attached.  And he's just so handsome :P (shameless plug incoming)

And couldn't you have picked a different picture for this article, makes me even more sad!

Chuck March 20th, 2009 10:31:30 AM

It's funny, before I had to deal with the FIP, I felt I knew when it was time. The FIP changed that, simply because of the nature of the disease. The first cat that came down ill pretty much crashed and were dead in a few days...no choices to make there. But as time went on and we moved from wet to dry cases, it was a little more complicated.

I have euthanized pets due to age. My first cat was 19 when we euthanized her. She was diabetic, had been  treated for hyperthyroid, and finally just due to old age, didn't get up or out of the chair anymore and was incontinent. It seems right and it felt right, and I didn't have regrets.

I euthanized two cats that had HCM and threw clots. That was horrible. They were both in pain, the clots unexpected, the timing on the very fast side of things. Despite knowing it was the right thing to do, I doubted, and rethough the decision for months.

I can give too many more examples...I have moved to a new place now. Now I spend the last few days with a dying animal, loving, just sitting quietly, and if there is no obvious signs of pain and suffering, I allow nature to take it's course. It's right for me , right now...

I trust my vet...if he said it was time to euthainze, I would take his advice, I know he dislikes doing it as much as I do.

It seems like the most humane, but it IS a big responsibility and a hard decision. It is the finally act of love and the final gift you can give some pets.

LorriM March 20th, 2009 11:10:26 AM

Thank you for this excellent post. It's a timely one for my family. And for me, the more information on 'end of life' care and options, the better.

Kris March 20th, 2009 11:10:30 AM

Many years ago I attended a seminar on pet loss and grieving and have used what I learned there both for myself and the many clients I have helped over the years. When you are having to deal with a chronic disease, or a situation when you have to decide when it's time for euthanasia, it helps to do this: 

Keep a daily journal, and when out of 7 days, there are 3 bad days and 4 good days, that is the time for that tough decision. Do not wait until there are 3 good days and 4 bad days. You owe your precious companion the love and dignity to die with dignity. I have been able to do that and make that choice 4 times in my life. Twice, I have been faced with sudden, critical issues where I did not have the time to journal, but as Jim and Rene said, the more prepared you are, the easier it is...but it is never easy.

I like the list that Chuck made too, as it is along the same lines. 

When we live with a beloved pet, just as in many life situations, we tend to remember the good times and the bad times fade in our memory. By making a list and putting some thought into it, the task makes us look at what we miss as the days and weeks pass.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance March 20th, 2009 11:49:45 AM

Quite a timely article. I have been struggling all week with my decision to euthanise my lab mix, Audrey. It was the first time I have ever had to euthanise one of my own healthy pets because of a behavior issue. After severely injuring one pet and several near misses despite behavior modification and medications, I had no other real choice. Isolating her and confining her would not allow her to enjoy most of her favorite things to do (like chasing birds on the beach). Thank you Chuck for the list idea, it helps.

Hobson March 20th, 2009 12:23:09 PM

One issue I can already see is likely to happen with my pets is different views/opinions with my husband as to when to euthanize or not. I think I am more emotionally in tune with my dog and cats feelings and will get a sign when it's time to let go. My husband is more sensitive to his own feelings of discomfort around illness and injury. I'm not saying he's wrong or "bad," but I will ultimately be the one to decide and it will cause tension in our relationship. Anyone have any advice around when 2 people have different beliefs about euthanization timing?

Faith March 20th, 2009 01:18:48 PM

Faith: I deal with this constantly. But in many cases the veterinarian doesn't even hear about it. I've even heard of cases where the veterinarian was blamed after one half of the marriage unit brought in the pet for euthanasia without ever having told the other it was going to happen. (So you know, if both names are on the intake form we don't tend to think twice about it unless things seem suspicious--which has happened to me before). 

From my limited point of view (never having had anyone to disagree with me), I see no way around it other than to discuss it early on in the disease process and hash it all out before it gets critical. But there will always be disagreements and it generally means that one person has to watch the pet suffer and/or die without the benefit of an escape hatch. It's horrible.

Dr. Patty Khuly March 20th, 2009 01:47:30 PM

I've had to decide to put down five of the eight cats I've lost (I have five living ones now). First one was a lovely, brilliant cat with feline idiopathic vestibular neuropathy (I think I got that right--it was many many years ago). The thing I learned from that one was that (for me, anyway) the only thing worse than possibly deciding too soon, was to know I had decided too late. That this exquisitely special creature suffered more and longer than he should have because I couldn't figure out what was best for him, rather than for me. Where and when does hope morph into denial? I watch much more carefully for that now. And I expect my vet to help me with that--a selfish or thoughtless vet can make it much harder to see that. A good one will at least try to help you see it.

I still have some discomfort with my decision about the most recent one, because there was never an actual diagnosis, just months of relentless decline with vet visits, tests, more tests, worry, and still more tests...so there's a part of me that wonders if I did the right thing or if I should have somehow tried harder. And I supose part of the doubt is just that it's the most recent, and so still painful, episode. But I always come back to knowing that when I did decide, it was precipitated by that unmistakeable change in his eyes--there just came a day when I looked into them, and he was just not fully there anymore. I can't explain it but it was as clear as the whiskers on his beautiful little face. My only job then was to recognize it, acknowledge what it meant, and do what was best for him. To the best of my poor ability to understand what that was.

Judy March 20th, 2009 03:07:38 PM

Interesting topic.  I've yet to had to decide *on my own* (thus far I've never had to make the call for an animal that was not a "family" pet with my parents.  Unfortunately though, at some point in the not too distant future this may change.

Finances will play a bigger role than I wish they would, but with this economy (I know I won't be able to afford an internal medicine consult at MSU -- something my vet and I would both like, as it is unclear just what is going on)...  I have quite a bit of background, and then I do kind of have a question about one scenario that a euthanasia situation may come about.

The dog is basically okay right now, though she has waxing and waning episodes, sometimes where she's feeling quite poorly for a week or more, and sometimes just a high temp and maybe acting a little off.  Right now, she's her normal self most of the time.  We're sure it has to be something to do with the abdomen -- ever since this has started in November it has been painful to palpation.  One of the kidneys looks funny on ultrasound, but we're not sure that's the only involvement.  It was thought that the kidney was infection-prone, which seemed to be supported by improvement when starting antibiotics, but on one episode she did not improve within a couple days of the antibiotics and it took a bit over a week, and she's had episodes where she'll get better without antibiotics.  So my vet thinks there's something inflammatory going on but not necessarily infection (plus two urine cultures have come back with no growth).  We're wondering if something else might be going on besides a strange looking kidney (not that that can't be causing problems, but we're thinking that may just be part of the puzzle).  Nera's a one year old German Shepherd but is very small.  You might think she was 5 or 6 months old by her size.

The other day I called to talk to my vet.  Sometimes she has a fever but acts normal.  Sometimes she acts a little off with no fever.  Sometimes she acts a little off, with fever, and we think she'll have an episode for at least a week and then she'll get better.  Just odd.  One option we talked about is exploratory surgery, spay (that's on the back burner because we don't know what else is going on and we don't want to mess things up by putting her through surgery, however routine, when all this other stuff is going on, but if we're going to open the abdomen we might as well do that since I'd like to anyway), biopsy that one kidney, and possibly biopsy other organs that might look like they should be biopsied.  She said ultrasound can look inside the organs (it showed the left kidney is deformed and all other organs look good), but she said you're still not looking grossly at it and that may yield more information.  We'd talked before about doing a necropsy if we lose her but if we can figure it out while she's still alive that would be good.  That way if we find something terminal, the decision is at least a bit easier, in that I'd know it was untreatable thus leaving the "when" question the only unanswered one.  And if something treatable is found, at least this way we're finding out before the horse is already out of the barn (as in the case of necropsy).  I think a necropsy is likely if we can't do the exploratory before death because darn it, I want some answers.

The vet told me how much this surgery is likely to cost, and if Nera cooperates and doesn't get in a now or never situation too soon, I think I can save up and do it around November.  I hadn't figured this out on the phone, but did tell my vet that it would be a bit of time for me to save up, and she said of course if she stops having episodes we may consider not doing it.  If Nera can't wait, or if things get too frequent and her quality of life becomes too negatively affected, then some dreaded decisions may have to be made even without the exploratory.

Right now the plan is to monitor the temp at least once a day, if it is elevated do it again in the evening, and just see if we can figure out a pattern to her episodes.

I'm not sure I could euthanize without a sign -- a clear indication she's ready, whether or not we figure out a diagnosis.  Finances are likely to play a role (I know I really can't see an internist even though I *really* want to).  And while she's my dog and I have to make the call, she lives at my parents' house due to the no dog policy where I live (I never would have acquired her, but my parents breed GSD's and she was very sick early in life with something apparently unrelated, and would have been put down if I hadn't intervened to give her a chance...when it *seemed* like she'd be a healthy dog my parents said she could be my dog and live at their house).  I tend to hang out at the house when she's sick.  Anyway, one factor that may enter in is I may be pressured to make a decision (unfortunately I don't feel as I can be so trusting of my parents' opinions as some might be able to of theirs...maybe trusting isn't the right word but I just don't feel that I can comfortably decide based upon their opinions and therefore may feel pressured).  So a few different factors that may enter in.

Wow, that was a big ramble.  I do have a question and would like to know how Dr. Khuly and/or others might respond.  I've heard that sometimes vets go in for exploratory and recommend euthanizing the patient in OR without waking them up.  I know the gist is if they need to be put down, it may make more sense to just do it while they're under anyway to prevent suffering.  I get that.  But that would be a horror story for me.  A must for me is that if she has to be euthanized that I am at her side.  I know they give pain meds to all surgical patients -- if the vet does do an exploratory and find ssomething that causes her to recommend immediate euthanasia, how acceptable would it be to have her go ahead and wake her up and keep her comfortable until I arrive?  Or if she's basically okay before going into OR, how acceptable would it be to go ahead and recover her, take her home, and wait for the sign that she's ready?  I'll likely be asking my vet this as well but wondered what folks here might have to say.

Lauren (Michigan pet lover) March 20th, 2009 05:40:24 PM

I want to cry. I waited too long and I hate myself for it. My 20 year old cat got sick in August. To make a long story short, I had to force feed her, give her shots of potassium, fluids under the skin, etc. I kept hoping things would improve. She was my baby. I never had kids but she was the closest I would ever get and 20 years is a long time. On the day I made the decision, I was on the way to the vet with her in my lap and she died before we got there. I was driving and when I think of how it all went down I want to cry. It was not peaceful for her, or me. It was horrible. I know now I waited way too long. I hope she forgives me. My vet was very noncommital as to what I should do. He more than likely knew it was time way before but he knew I would try anything and everything first. He never gave his opinion one way or the other. I wished he had. I wished he had told me it was time way before it happened. In my heart I think he felt it but would not voice it.

Jan March 20th, 2009 05:40:35 PM

Oh, Jan, I do believe that if your cat could do so, she would forgive you. Please please don't torture yourself any more, you did do what you thought was best, and you did it out of love. Your beloved kitty is not suffering now. We really CAN'T always know where hope leaves off--we are flawed, medicine is not certain, and our animals cannot speak to us in ways we always understand. It must be hard for vets to know sometimes whether to speak or not. I'm sure there are clients who NEVER want to hear it, but there are those who need that gentle clarification; he should have offered you that help.

It's a terrible responsibility, but I have to believe that even when we make mistakes, the world is better because we love these creatures. Our own surely is; don't trade away those twenty years of love and happiness you gave each other for this last sad time. Even if it might have been better for you and for the cat to let it go sooner, that doesn't negate the love you offered her, especially during all those happy years you had together. Forgive yourself; you will know more if there is a next time, and in any case if you had had help with this one, it might have gone differently. You did the best you knew how, and you did it because you loved her.

Judy March 20th, 2009 05:59:42 PM

I had to put my oldest cat (17 years)Dusty to sleep in 2007. She had severe OA and CHF. We tried several meds, including ones not approved for use in cats for the OA. Each brought her some relief for a time, but then would stop doing the job.

The last med we tried would make her drool from the taste and we'd have to fight to get it in her (she never took oral meds well), and we had to give her injections every other day for the accumulation of fluids (the injections she took very well).

Once we got the meds in her she'd feel great for a couple hours and play like she was many years younger, then be in a stuptor the rest of the day until next med time. She also had two times where she did this rapid breathing thing for a few minutes that scared the bejeebers out of me.

I had known the time was coming so in a way I had been 'pre-mouring' for a couple months, but when she started just picking at her food (def. not like her) urinated outside the box because she couldn't hold it from the diuretics and sleeping most of the day I knew it was near time.

I had asked the vet if it was time on a Thursday after she had a bad night. The vet said to try increasing one of the meds and we'd see what happened over the weekend.

We had a nice long weekend with her giving her pampering and letting her eat whatever she wanted when she'd eat. I took her to her favorite weekend cabin and she didn't even jog to the door like usual, and when we left she didn't stand up in her basket meowing as we left (which was not like her).

We opted to have her euthanized on that Tuesday after another scary fast breathing episode the night before.

In hindsight I wished I'd had her put to sleep a week earlier for her sake but I did enjoy that last weekend with her and took a ton of pix, and gave her lots of special attention which she seemed to like.

I did ok handing her over to the vet assistand who was a friend (I knew I couldn't keep calm for Dusty's sake if I was there) but when Dusty looked back at me and gave a single meow I lost it and basically ran from the building crying my eyes out.

I'm getting teary eyed just typing this even after almost 2 years since it happend.

Anyway, my point is that most of my family including hubby though I should have let her go 3 months sooner, but in my eyes I think maybe just a week sooner, but having that weekend helped me say goodbye properly and it made the decision much easier for me, but not easy.

I had 12 years with her, and 7 more than the vet thought she'd have when she had gotten pnemonia and didn't eat for 2 weeks in '97, even had the appt for euth. set up and she started eating the day we were to take her in. So I feel very fortunate for every year I got to spend with her.

I can't talk about her anymore right now or I'll be crying on my keyboard.

My next hardest decision is going to be the next oldest cat who is only 9 years old and has megacolon and most likely a small intenstinal malabsorbtion problem. Since he doesn't show signs of being old or ill, that one is going to be hard to choose when the time comes since he seems healthy and happy otherwise and is reasonably managed on meds for now.

I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

Sorry for the length of this post.

cl March 20th, 2009 06:24:39 PM

Thank you Judy for your kind words. I'm sure in time I MIGHT learn to forgive myself but not yet. I have 6 other cats to focus on now. Plus I just found a 9 month old cat up in the tree so it looks like I am adding number 7. Maybe Muffin sent her my way.....

Jan March 20th, 2009 06:26:23 PM

Join the club Jan, I have 7 cats too. Sure is a zoo here at times, but I love them all.

cl March 20th, 2009 06:34:12 PM

Hobson: I am SO very, very sorry about Audrey. Though never having to do that with one of my own pets, I faced that twice with rescue Scots. That so totally broke my heart, to have to make that decision with physically healthy young dogs.

If I can offer any empathy: please know that the dog is suffering just as much in a mental way. I believe in my heart that any companion animal does not want to do "bad" and literally has no control. It could even be something physical that you will never discover. I am going to pray for inner peace & strength for you.

Pocket's Story from New Hampshire : a beloved pet that deserved veterinary compassion & humane treatment at the end of her life

Barbara A. Albright/NH March 20th, 2009 06:42:48 PM

Some people think that when you have multiple pets, losing one is not as big a deal as the single-pet-owner. I can say emphatically that it is no easier to say goodbye, nor comforting to have the remaining bunch, and it never becomes easier either. Each one is special and unique to you, admiring the differences and loving them for it.

I guess I fall into #1, 6, and 8. The signs are all there, I mourn way ahead of time, and start crying (out loud) weeks before. Everytime I tell myself to accept it and make the best of what's left. And for the most part, we do. We go through special rituals, quality time and attention, and finally #8 comes due, and I have to get it "done", I pray to hold it together for my beloved companion.

I can see it now, with my two 12+ yr. old "beanies", both have that high, scratchy voice pitch change...their "voice" is not like it was. And yes, to me it becomes the end-of-the-line, when no longer will I hear a bark or howl, I dread that day more than any. I wonder if Dottie's Vet remembers me saying that on 3/31/08 was the last bark "Dottie" did. She had to be euthanized 4/11/08.

Dr. Khuly, would you kindly consider a blog about "10 ways the Veterinarian knows it's time for euthanasia"?

Pocket's Story from NH : when unethical veterinary behavior interferes with doing what is moral & compassionate

Barbara A./NH March 20th, 2009 07:52:51 PM

As long as my pets are eating, drinking, urinating, defecating, able to walk around, and willing to be social, I feel that they are doing OK.  I had an ancient Sheltie that had a few health problems but was still able to do all those things.  The day she could not get up from her dog bed to greet me was the day I put her down.  I had a fairly young cat with kidney issues.  He was a high stress cat so daily medicating and SQ fluids were out of the question.  It would have made both of us miserable.  The day he stopped eating and drinking I brought him in to be euthanized.  I've seen way too much animal suffering over my years as a technician.  I cannot bear the thought of any of my pets suffering.  I sometimes see animals come in for frequent blood transfusions, to have the chests and abdomens tapped on a regular basis, animals who spend more time in the hospital than at home because their bad days outweigh their good.  I could never do that to my pets.

In regards to vets knowing when it is time to euthanize--they have to be so careful when offering this up as a choice.  Decisions on euthanasia are irreversible and an owner cannot come away feeling they were forced one way or the other.  Vets can explain the disease process, the treatments available, and the prognosis, but ultimately the choice has to be up to the owner.  I do wish that vets could be more comfortable talking about euthanasia to clients.  Sometimes I see it written so clearly on a client's face, they are just looking for someone to talk to them on a more personal level.  They don't want to hear facts and figures, they just want to know, "What would you do if this were your pet?"  Sometimes an owner is afraid to bring up euthanasia as an option and if the vet doesn't mention it, then they think that their pet may have a better chance than it really does, because surely the vet would say something if euthanasia were reasonable, right?  I love the vets I work with but I feel that the majority of them do not communicate well with owners in these situations.  As long as there is a CHANCE the pet could pull through, they will keep offering options for treatment.  They are not trying to be misleading or bleed the client for all their money, I guess they just feel they can not offer up anything other than professional advice and leave the emotional decisions to the owner, which is frustrating when the owner is practically begging for personal guidance.  

This is a touchy subject for me and I could go on and on, but I think I'll stop here.

RMW March 20th, 2009 09:22:21 PM

First of all, I've been lurking on your blog for a few weeks now and have found it incredibly interesting!  Thanks!

Even though it has been nearly a year since I made "the decision" for the first time (with my first dog), I still remember the day and the events leading up to it like it was yesterday.  For me I guess it was some combination 1, 5, and 8.  She was in the final stages of lymphoma (after 3 failed  chemo protocols and one clinical trial that did not work either) and we had fought out hardest for 6 months that were actually very good.  Although she could still walk, she was no longer eating and something in her eyes said it was over.

There was also something else though, that I have never been able to find an answer too that still makes me wonder.  Perhaps you or one of you readers knows...  I made the decision to let her go very early one morning after she woke me up by pacing, panting, and trying to dig into the corner of the room.  In the 8 years that I had her, she never tried to dig in the house.  I took her outside where she dug a little at a hole she had previously started and then laid down in it.  Back inside, she tried to dig in a crate and hide in a closet.  My brain immediatly thought that she must be trying to leave the pack to die. and I sort of took it as the final sign.  But I have no idea if this is what wolves would do.  I am still slightly haunted by this and would love to know if this could have been what she was trying to do.

Regardless, I am still at peace with the decision...  I hope it is many years before I am faced with it again!

eegd March 20th, 2009 09:40:55 PM

eegd: My last dog "Dottie" had lymphoma at the end. I interpret the pacing and panting as uncomfortable and signs of suffering. And it has been my experience (just as with my Mom dying), that the body goes through both hot & cold spells...fever and cold.

The digging could be exactly as you think or maybe to seek "cold". Not eating of course, is a definite sign.

RMW: Why on earth would a vet keep on offering "options", when "hope" has run out, the pet is clearly in decline mode, and the owner needs honesty, compassion, and is on the verge of being emotionally, perhaps physically overwrought? Not to mention, allowing a companion animal to suffer, feel fear, pain, and diminished quality of life.

I still believe it is withholding "information" that harms the most. If you are told that prognosis is POOR, I can't help but think at the appropriate time, a pet owner is ready to also grasp "euthanasia".

Barb A./NH

Pocket's Story from N March 20th, 2009 09:59:41 PM

Asproolee’s Story

Fotini March 21st, 2009 01:45:53 AM

Veterinarians are in an extremely tough spot when advising a pet owner on issues related to euthanasia. We're likely to think about life, death, suffering and euthanasia differently than you do. How then to actually advise? The best we can usually do is listen closely to what you say, interpret your words the best we can, repeat them to you to make sure we've understood, outline the major issues you care about with respect to your pet's life and death, and then present our own findings with respect to how your pet's condition fits into what we've heard your needs/desires are. 

After two at-home euthanasias today I've had recent cause to think that veterinarians are sometimes more like priests than doctors. And priests have it easier--they understand your fundamental beliefs better than we do our average clients.' 

Dr. Patty Khuly March 21st, 2009 02:52:44 AM

While I agree that all the points you listed in your article are valid when trying to make this awful decision, I think the only way to know for sure is when you truly connect with your pet's spirit. It can be difficult to really "hear" your animal when you're worried and afraid, but if you can set those fears aside for brief moments, you will know if and when the time has come. Animals create their own reality, just like we do, and they are often ready to transition long before we're ready to let them go. They pick up on our energy, and because we're so connected with our animals, they often stick around longer than they might have because they know we're not ready to lget go. They do love us that much.

Ingrid March 21st, 2009 08:25:11 AM

I just blogged about this, from the other side of the issue - that of a Veterinarian who, in my opinion, should have advised my partner to let his 20 year old cat go, but instead talked him into a myriad of additional tests and measures. All this did was extend her life - but it was an extension with no real joy, or quality of living.

Our new vet will always have my gratitude for his kind but firm advice that it was 'time to let her go', when Sean could just have easily been talked into more tests and procedures on Misty. Sometimes kindness is just giving us permission to let their suffering end.

frogdogz March 21st, 2009 12:58:53 PM

frogdogz: Though it's tough to Monday-morning quarterback on euthanasia discussions and veterinarian's ability/willingness to discuss euthanasia I can cite three primary reasons for why euthanasia is not raised by some vets:

1-The good: A critical care specialist at the top of his field. His personal moral boundaries exclude recommending or even raising the issue of euthanasia. He's so sensitive about this and feels so strongly that it's hard to fault him. You might argue he'd have been better off in another field, but he's sooooo good. Luckily he recognizes this issue and chooses to practice in a university setting. Makes all the difference when multiple veterinarians are working on any one case. Everyone knows he's not the go-to guy for end-of-life discussions and there are always other vets who know they're good at this and can step in.

2-The bad: Some vets are just not good at it. Period. It makes them uncomfortable to see people stress and cry and they find themselves at a loss for words. Instead of addressing the death issue head-on, they plow headlong into the medicine. I know of at least a handful of veterinarians who are GREAT at their jobs but confess to preferring a good, solid thumbscrew over a euthanasia discussion.

3-The ugly: One of my local practitioners claims not to believe in euthanasia. Though I have it on good authority (a witness) that she euthanized her own cat, she tells clients that she does not believe in it. She also refuses to recommend specialists and makes the bulk of her income on special needs cases where euthanasia would end the treatment cycle (I won't describe the field so as not to identify), thereby leading me to believe that she's an unethical provider who preys upon the weak and confused. Disgusting. 

But, honestly, I believe most vets who don't raise euthanasia fall into category #2.

Dr. Patty Khuly March 21st, 2009 04:11:15 PM

Fotini, nothing is black and white. I work in a hospital full of boarded internists, surgeons, critical care specialists, and radiologists. We still do explores that end up being negative. I do agree that if something looks "iffy" though, second opinions should be sought. But a negative explore doesn't mean that a vet did something wrong.

RMW March 21st, 2009 04:42:33 PM

RMW:

Negative explore meant that they didn't have the skills to interprent the U/S; if they did, they wouldn't have recommended exploratory. I only wish I had sought a radiologist's diagnosis before I was urged by the Internist and the GPs to proceed with the explore. Hind sight is always 20/20. . . It was a hard but VERY VALUABLE lesson!

It took me 4-5 months to diagnose my remaining companion's cough. After several tests and several thousand of dollars ($4,000), the veterinary teaching hospital's chief radiologist performed a radiographic examination with fluoroscopy. He diagnosed laryngeal paralysis which no internist or GP was able to diagnose. Again, it took a radiologist to correctly interpret and diagnose my companion's rather serial health problem.

Asproolee’s Story

Fotini March 21st, 2009 05:58:35 PM

Old age creeps in so gradually.  I had never had to make the decision before.  I knew my 17 year old shih tzu, Buster, was not the joyful young dog he once was, but he had earned his retirement  and pampering a thousand times over.   He was there when we needed him; now it was his turn.

Buster began getting lost in the backyard or trapped in corners.  Sometimes he would stand outside my husband's workshop and bark to be let in when my husband wasn't home  (I know NOW that drugs may have helped him, I didn't then).  He needed to be hand fed and carried outside to relieve himself.  Watching him stumble around was just awful.  He hadn't 'played' in years.  But, when I held him in my arms, which was for a good part of the day, he would relax and go completely limp.  All his life he was like that; a true lap dog.  He was never so happy as when he was held in my arms.  He just melted.  Who was I to take this away from him?  How can quality of life be measured for a dog who is happy to just be held?  How could I be sure I was not subconciously making the decision for the sake of convenience?  After all, I also had other dogs that needed attention.   I wrestled with the decision for over 6 months.

When I finally made the decision to let him go, I had to convince my husband it was time.  Once he agreed, we took Buster to the brand-new, posh animal hospital instead of our regular vet because Buster hated going to the vet's.  Once there, we were asked the question: why?  Why do you want to euthanize your pet?  How does one explain what one isn't sure of?  The vet suggested Rimaydl and we eagerly agreed.  Although it didn't help, I am glad we tried.  But now my husband had to be convinced all over again.  He refused to agree to it.  This was in the fall.  What forced me to take matters into my own hands was the thought of making Buster live through another winter; he got cold so easily.   It simply came down to that.

Diane C. March 21st, 2009 11:52:14 PM

RMW: I'll go one further. If veterinarians aren't coming up negative in a percentage of their exploratories, they're not being aggressive enough. Think of all the mistakes that happen in the other direction. Better to go in and be wrong sometimes than to be so conservative that you're failing to cure. It's never black and white.

My Sophie had a negative exploratory about a year ago. I don't regret it for a second. The fact that everything checked out in her abdomen made me feel that much more confident that radiation was a great idea for her brain tumor. 

Dr. Patty Khuly March 22nd, 2009 07:08:29 AM

Lauren (Michigan): You probably know that euthanasia is a sensitive topic for me & why. But if I may offer an opinion: Nera has had liver shunt ruled out? And the digesting- enzyme deficiency that GSD sometimes have?

From a previous post, it seems that perhaps an ACVR certified radiologist could review: MRI, cat-scan, and ultrasound without invasive exploratory surgery. Even a needle-guided biopsy could shed light on her condition. Is Nera's lab findings stable enough for surgery?

Only you can answer about "euthanasia" on the table, personally, I do not think it wrong for you to request personal attendance no matter what the method.And either way, be assured of how that euthanasia will be accomplished (drugs, overdose, etc).

Pocket's Story from New Hampshire

Barb

Barbara A. Albright/NH March 22nd, 2009 11:52:55 AM

fotini: yet again, your LIMITED personal experience clouds your judgment. you are offering medical advice which is flat-out wrong. there are PLENTY of times that radiologist HIGHLY RECOMMEND exploratory surgery - and it is not needed (i.e. the exploratory is negative). this happened to me 2 weeks ago. i suspected a foreign body, but i wasn't convinced by the xray OR u,trasound. the BOARD CERTIFIED radiologist reviewed the xrays and recommended exploratory for foreign body. i waited it out, did repeat xrays, and guess what?? no foreign body!

on the other hand, recently we saw a dog that was vomiting for an unknown reason. xrays were unremarkable, other than some GI ileus. the radiologist interpreted it as a gastroenteritis. the dog got sicker and sicker. we finally made the call to go to surgery - but by that time - the linear foreign body that was present in the small intestines had already perforated the GI tract and the dog was septic. the radiologist missed this, we missed it, everyone missed it.

radiologists recommend exploratories when they are not needed and don't recommend them when they are needed, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER VETERINARIAN.

i agree that a 2nd opinion is always warranted if you are unsure, but as the owner said - referral/2nd opinion is not a financial option. thus, she has to rely on her referring vet's experience and skill.

Cat ERVet March 22nd, 2009 09:40:47 PM

It is the hardest thing one can do when it comes to our animals, but it is our responsibility. This past Dec. 1, one of my mom's dogs, Ginger, who was 13.5yo, woke up and couldn't get up off the floor. We thought she'd had a stroke. Off to our vet we go, to find out she's got a splenic tumor that is bleeding internally. Even without the risk of cancer, the only way to stop it would be to do an exploratory surgery. We elected to euthanize because we could not see putting her through that surgery, knowing how hard it would be on her, and had it been metastatic, knowing she would be gone so much sooner anyway. This was probably the worst loss I've suffered, as we'd had her since I was 15 (i'm dating myself here), and Kidd since I was 14, and it was such a sudden thing. She was FINE until that morning. For her to be fine, and then DEAD, so fast, was just horrid. And then the fact that she had been my mom's other old dog's "seeing eye" sort of dog, and that now he'd be without her was even worse. And we were right. This past Monday, my mom's 14 y/o shih tzu somehow got lost in her backyard (he was blind and deaf and we found out later that when my stepdad said Kidd couldn't get back in the dog door, it was because he didn't know it was there, not that his legs were giving him a problem...he had luxating patellas.) We knew for some time that his time was coming. We came home to find him seizuring in the backyard and having heatstroke. Still don't know which caused what, but we suspect he had the seizure and that's why he was outside in this FL heat and got the heatstroke. We cooled him off ASAP as best we could but quickly realized it was beyond anything we could do and so raced to our closest (not our usual) vet. DIC was suspected and due to his other issues, we elected to euthanize. However, it's not that I'm sad he's gone (though I am) I just so sincerely wish that he never had to go through that last horrible bit. Had he been "my" dog I feel I would have done it at least a month ago. I was prepared entirely to find he had just quit breathing and just never woken up. But to find him seizing and so hot that he was still at 105 at the vets, after we rushed him to the shower and put alcohol on his paws, and probably 15 min had passed by the time his temp was taken, and all of that horrible stuff...I'd almost rather he'd been run over and it had been quick, as wretched as that sounds. Either way, it is just wretched. I've had to euthanize other dogs/cats for illnesses (cancer, FeLV, FIP, etc.) but at least then you have the time to adjust to the coming tragedy. You start preparing. I even had one of my leuk kitties before I went on my honeymoon because I could see the crash coming and didn't want Thomas to go without me there to be with him, or have to have whoever was pet-sitting try to do the right thing at the right time. What's bad about that is that often the poor animal suffers (even just a bit, I'd never wish any of those sorts of things on any living thing)as a trade-off. Dr. Khuly, you are right, and I will remember your words: one week early is far better than one minute too late.

Brooke March 22nd, 2009 10:11:58 PM

Cat ERVet:

Why veterinary medicine and diagnoses should be different than human medicine and doctors? Would you expect your internist to perform your U/S and interpret it, or would you see a radiologist for your X-rays, U/S, MRI, etc?

I did not offer medical advice but a personal, very unfortunate experience. Rest assured I have searched animal health issues and learned a lot. Unfortunately, until I lost my companion, I had not searched anything concerning veterinary medicine, specialties, etc., as we served our country overseas for the last 9 years, and the only vets we knew were military ones who didn't push for unnecessary services and procedures, but who were also deployed to war 6-12 months at a time. It only took 3 months after we came back to have my companion misdiagnosed and mistreated with catastrophic results.

Fotini March 23rd, 2009 01:49:54 AM

Cat ERVet: My goodness, what got your tail all a-fuzz? Both Fontini & I were referring to the fact that both of us did not have ACVR radiologists interpret "anything", but doctors that claimed proficiency in reading & performing both x-rays and ultrasounds, as we were both "referred" to these "experts". Kinda stacked the deck unfavorably!

Barbara A. Albright/NH

Barbara, thank you for the kind words about Audrey. To add to your most recent post, I prefer to make referrals to universities where all the clinicians are board certified, but that is not always an option. In most cases a ACVIM certified vet can proficiently perform and interpret ultrasounds and radiographs to almost if not the same degree as a radiologist. In yours and Fotini's case that did not happen. But that is not the norm. Even general practitioners such as myself are proficient up to a point, we just have to know our limitations and be up front about it. Ultrasounds and radiolography are never an exact science no matter who performs them, they are always judgement calls and fall into the grey area of medicine we are forced to wade into more than we would like.

Hobson March 23rd, 2009 08:02:25 PM

Asproolee’s Story

Fotini March 24th, 2009 01:03:52 AM

Fotini, I still think your case is the exception, I really don't think there is a difference in honesty between radiologists and internists either, based on my experience with many of each. You had a bad experience with certain individuals. It is not fair to paint all of a group with the same brush due to the actions of a minority of individuals in a group.

Fotini March 24th, 2009 12:29:47 PM

Last post should have been signed "Hobson"

Hobson March 24th, 2009 01:14:55 PM

Hobson:I agree 100% that this is not the norm, this does boil down to individual honesty, yes, indeed.

You've got our number: Say it clear, say it loud, and say it often! It is our deepest hope to prevent other pets & owners from this same experience. Whether word spreads via pet-owner to raise awareness or professional groups to ponder ethical behavior, we are committed to this mission.

Both Fontini and I know this: we have had years of good pet medical care before & after, and probably more appreciation for it than the average person.

Pocket's Story from New Hampshire

Barbara A. Albright/NH March 24th, 2009 03:02:07 PM

I tend to think of the question "What would you do if it were your pet?" unfair at times. Primarily because if it were my pet the situation would be dramatically different than that of any client. For one, I have access to specialists, diagnostic tests and treatments at a significantly lower cost. Secondly, I have the knowledge base that clients do not - I know the variables, risks, and potential benefits of treatment. Lastly, in some cases my own pets would never be in the same situation as those of a client, as I work in the field and my pets benefit from preventative medicine and smart responsible pet ownership. And finally - despite everything that I just wrote I admit that I just don't want the responsibility of a pet owner asking me what I would do in their shoes. I prefer that they decide on their own, so if they should regret that decision later they will not place the blame on me. That being said it is extremely rare that a euthanasia occurs when the animal is not a good candidate for such a final procedure.

CVT March 24th, 2009 05:24:51 PM

You've covered all the justifications for choosing euthanasia in a very thoughtful and caring manner. At our pet hospital, we also see those situations where the client just "knew" it was the right time. I encourage clients to pay attention to their inner voice...sometimes it has the wisest advice. You're right in that no veterinarian can really tell someone when euthanasia is appropriate. Everything is so subjective and standards of quality of life can vary a great deal. Whenever we have a client who asks us to tell them the "right time," we know that what they're really looking for is support and understanding no matter what they decide. We try to provide that as much as possible even in very difficult situations.

Dana March 27th, 2009 11:58:20 AM

The timing of me discovering this blog couldn't be better. Today I had to make the very tough decision to let my little JRT go. She would have been 11 years old next month. She had developed aspiration pneumonia (well, that is what the internist finally diagnosed), and she just continued to deteriorate. The first two vets that saw her thought she had a heart problem and was in congestive heart failure. Lasix failed to work, and the Internist disagreed and felt she had pneumonia. I had hoped the antibiotics, oxygen, etc would help her breathe, but she slowly got worse. Though I knew in my heart yesterday that it was probably time, seeing her refuse to eat even steak, and learning of her distress trying to breathe in the oxygen cage last night made it easier for me. This dog LIVED to eat and play, and when she refused all food Sunday and Monday, I felt she had given up. I suspect she had a underlying condition that made it too tough for her to fight the pneumonia. I did get to say goodbye and kiss her one last time. Seeing her eyes and feeling her gasping for air told me it really was time.

Thanks again for writing this blog. I have had a few moments of doubt and guilt for not exhausting every human thing possible, but I do know in my heart that making her suffer one more moment would simply be selfish on my part.

Sara

Saramcvt April 21st, 2009 12:48:42 PM

I found this site when I put in a search, trying to find out the best way to have a cat euthanized. Yesterday, I found out that my nearly 15 year old cat has Osteosarcoma. A quick and aggressive cancer. This cat was born in my bedroom when I was still a teenager. I've had him longer than I've even known my child and my husband! I thought he was looking pretty good for his age. But 2 days ago, I noticed that one of his "ankles" had a swelling on it. A really bad swelling. I felt of it and it was much firmer than an abcess, so I took him to the vet the next day. They took x-rays and blood samples and told me that it appears to be Osteosarcoma. My choices are: amputate the leg; let him die naturally (and painfully); or euthanize him. (he doesn't have tumors spread to his lungs or elsewhere, yet). I just don't know if it is worth his pain for me to have his leg amputated. From what I've read online, most cats don't live more than a few years anyway, after having the cancer removed. And he's almost 15 years old... He could still die from a blood-clot or an infection afterwards. My problem with DECIDING WHEN, is that he's still acting normal and content. I guess I will see how it goes and take him when I feel that the time is right. I guess the "right" time would be when he shows any signs of obvious discomfort or problems doing normal things. I just can't imagine putting him through the pain of an amputation, only to possibly still die of the cancer. Only for him to be here, in his damaged body, with me, for just a few more years. I had to make this same decision with a rottweiler I had, a few years ago. He had a cancer tumor pop up inside his mouth. (also a very fast-moving and aggressive cancer).... He was only 3 yrs old. My options were to have half his lower jaw removed & chemotherapy... or "make him comfortable". (I think it's easier to help a dog with comfort, because you can give them more pain meds than you can give to a cat). I chose to "make him comfortable" and had the tumor removed (so he could eat normally) and he was on some kind of pill (can't recall the name) ... and he lived for 4 months after his surgery. During that time, I took him to places he liked to go and we played games he enjoyed, and I basically just tried to do as much fun stuff with him as possible, until he got too weak. He seemed to be doing pretty good but then, overnight, he was suddenly seriously down. He couldn't get up and walk. He couldn't even raise his head. I *knew* that night that it was time. I took him the next morning and had them euthanize him. It was just really hard because even though he couldn't get up, he was fully aware and watching me the entire time. That was making me wonder if it was the right time or not... but then I stood there, looking at my young, beautiful, massive guard dog, laying helpless on the floor.... watching me and listening to me.... not even ABLE to raise his head to bark at the vet techs... and I knew it really was the time. It's a hard decision to make.. but it's sometimes the only choice, if you don't want your animal to suffer. You're helping to relieve them of a body that is uninhabitable. ~

Amy April 29th, 2009 04:33:27 AM

My husband took in my sweet 7 yr. old dachshund Buster to be euthanized just an hour ago.  I have been crying non-stop since we finally made the decision this morning, and I'm totally heartbroken. 

Buster had a disc rupture in his neck about 9 months ago.  Although we couldn't really afford it, and have never spent so much on a pet in our lives, we went ahead with the $3,300 surgery, which we had to put on a credit card.  It turned out great -- after he healed he acted happier and younger than he ever had since we adopted him three years before.  Well, to our great dismay, he started having the identical symptoms start up again about two months ago.

We thought we'd try just treating him with medication this time.  He's been on pain killers, anti-inflammatories and steroids, but he continued to just get worse and worse every day.  These past few weeks he has been in terrible pain several times a day -- every time the meds start to wear off, and we've geen giving him the absolute highest dosages allowed.  The surgeon felt terrible for us and even very generously offered to waive his personal fee and guaranted the total bill wouldn't exceed half of the last one.

We've discussed this with family and friends for weeks now and finally came to the realization that if we totally depleted all our resources to have another surgery, there would be nothing left if our other dog, one of our two cats, or a family member were to have any kind of medical need.  There was also no guarantee that it wouldn't happen again.  He had a couple of other weak spots showing up in his back x-ray.  He also had a habit of shaking his stuffed toys violently back and forth and when he was happy he would roll around on the floor turning summersaults and pretty much standing on his head.  Silly boy.

I have never euthanized a pet that wasn't very elderly or terminally ill.  My guilt and grief is so great right now.  Did I do the right thing?  Or am I terribly selfish to not have spent more money to try and fix him again?  I can't believe he's gone.

Verleen May 1st, 2009 05:52:24 PM

Verleen: I came back here to see if maybe anyone had said anything else that would help me in my decision. Verleen, I think you did the rational thing. It was NOT selfish of you. I wouldn't even be able to afford a surgery that was going to be more than a few hundred dollars. So, you know that you did try. It does hurt so much more to euthanize an animal that you KNOW might have a chance. But now, Buster isn't in pain anymore. And he won't live any more years in pain. I have a friend with the same kind of dog, who is facing the same exact decision. I hope you can find some comfort in your decision and knowing that Buster isn't in pain.       

Amy May 2nd, 2009 07:06:26 AM

Amy,

Thank you so much for your kind words.  It's been hard, but I know I made the best decision for him and our family.  I miss him terribly, though.

As for your kitty, if he were younger, I'd probably suggest going ahead with the surgery if you could afford it, because I've seen many dogs and cats that function just fine with three legs.  They don't have the hangups we do about things like that.  But at 15 years old, that kind of surgery would have to be hard on them physically and mentally.  And like you said, there is always the chance of complications.

I think your idea of watchful waiting for your cat is a very good one.  Maybe you could make a 'deal' of some sort with yourself now, before things progress and get more emotional.  Make a list of the things he enjoys doing or the behaviors he does that tells you he's happy; lying in the sun, playing with a certain toy, purring, etc.  When he starts losing these things, then you'll know it's time.  Like the author said above, "Sometimes it's better to be a week too early than a minute too late."  In hindsight, I know Buster was in more pain for a longer period of time that he needed to be, because I couldn't bear to believe that there was not another answer for him.  I feel very guilty about that.

I hope you have many, many more months with your sweet kitty.

Verleen May 3rd, 2009 06:58:29 PM

I feel uncertain I even belong here . . . but this was the kind of thing I was looking for.  My dog, Queen, is about 13.5 (I'm not sure, but I first saw her as a puppy when I was pregnant w my 13 yo).  She is a shephard, maybe mix or not, but about 50 lb.  My life has been through a lot of trauma, and my mom has kept her for me a few times.  But even tho she's spoiled more at my mom's, she would rather be with me and the kids.

She has kidney problems, and is frequently incontinent even tho my husband takes her out at 10, 12, and 2 am, and I take her out at 7:30 am.  We tried a medication, but it seems to make her stressed out and nervous.  She is still on the KD food, tho.  She has some arthritis, and is on a supplement for that, but its hard to get her out of the house on rainy days.  She has always been unwilling to go in the yard, so we've always walked her 3-4 times/day, but thats getting harder and harder.  She also has degenerative mylapothy, so she is losing sensation in her hind quarters - I assume that is to blame for her occasional pooping in her sleep - its only happenned about 3-4 times, in the past 3 months.  But walking is getting harder and harder, I now have to leave 10 minutes early on our walk to the bus stop because she mostly is at a walking pace the whole way, and needs frequent breaks.  She trips more and more on these walks.  At first that would upset her - she looked around, like, who hit me?  But now she's used to it, she just stumbles and gets up and keeps going.  She falls down the stairs fairly frequently.  She is deaf, and so worried about where I am, that she tries to follow me up and down the stairs when I am running errands, which only makes things worse.  Our back yard is a full story up to the house, and she cannot make it up or down those stairs.  Carrying her, or even helping her, is difficult for me as I am small and not very strong.  I have three kids, 1 is bipolar, and i plan to home school two of them next year.  She absolutely hates the heat, struggling even more to walk in the heat. 

My husbandwas ready for me to put her down months ago, and I have basically agreed to do it this summer - we really didnt think she would make it through last summer's heat, but i had such a scare when she got old-dog vestibular event - we did what she could and she recovered, and seemed so energetic by comparison!  But something's just got to give around here, and she is just getting to be much more work than pleasure, I know its not the good doggy life it used to be, and I'm feeling pressured.  I know I need to let go but I feel so guilty!

Cara May 5th, 2009 11:06:06 AM

ps - I keep worrying that she will break a leg falling down the stairs some time here.  Often when she has a really bad fall, she doesnt want to walk the next day

Cara May 5th, 2009 11:08:30 AM

Verleen, Thank you, too, for your kind words to me and for your input. I had been asking every single person I knew. I wanted any opinion I could get, so I thank you. I empathize with you... I STILL miss my rottweiler! I just try to remember the HAPPIEST things we did together, and how happy of a life he had with our family. He could have ended up in a yard, chained to a tree.. belonging to people who didn't care that he was dying of cancer... but he lived a very happy life, full of playing and fun and learning and being loved dearly. I know the sad memories won't help me. But those happy ones can still make me smile and laugh.

 I took my cat back to the vet the other day, where we talked more in depth about the "options". Considering his age, she said there was a definite possibility that he could die during surgery. (It seemed to me, from how she told me that several times, that she believed that to be a high possibility)... And that he MIGHT live about 6 months longer, if I had his leg amputated. Two months of that would be him letting his leg heal!So, a 'major' surgery (for his age) and then two months of healing... meanwhile, there could be cancer blooming inside him elsewhere... I just can't do that to him. It would still end in him being euthanized...I know that the vet can't KNOW for certain how long he may or may not live, whether we did surgery or not.... but I can tell when I look at him, that he is old and doesn't feel as well as he used to. He may not be ready to die this month or next month, but he is getting old and if he lived too many more years, he'd be dealing with eye problems, hearing issues, kidney problems (or some other problem)... So, I listened to what my vet had to offer, and decided to just put him on meds for now... and wait it out. Of course, I've been loving on him every chance I get.. (he HATES the meds, by the way! That alone makes me feel bad enough!)... It's basically the same "deal" I had to go through with my rottweiler that I spoke of earlier. I will watch him and love him as he declines... and when the day comes that I can tell he's too uncomfortable, or it's about to get worse, I will take him to be euthanized... because I LOVE him. I don't want him to suffer, just so I can have him here.As long as he's purring and can move around, and seems somewhat content, he's going to be here with me but if any of that stops happening, or if something else gets worse, then I'll know it's time.

One last bit of input on this:I also talked to my vet about my options for the euthanasia. I know that cats can be more unpredictable in how they react to it.. So, I asked if there was any way we could make it go any smoother. I asked if we could put him to sleep (like for surgery) (anesthesia) and then administer the euthanasia, and she said we could do that. I really don't know if that WOULD help it be any smoother, or prolong it.. but I'd think since he's so old, it might make it all go smoother. I thought that might be an idea Others here might be able to use. Ask your vet, of course, though! Or if you come up with your own idea, it never hurts to ask if it's possible.

Amy May 18th, 2009 01:36:27 AM

CARA: I feel for you, in your situation. You've had that dog since before you had your child. I know you MUST have a huge attachment to her. (She STILL wants to follow you upstairs! So, you must have given her lots of love!!)

If you've already discussed with your husband (and agreed), then you must know it is time, or getting near the time. Maybe it would help you to do it, if you could decide on a date... a month away (or less or more)... and then you could decide to spend as much time as possible doing the things she likes. If she likes being brushed, then you could brush her every evening.. etc.The closer it gets to the date, you will have your "last week" together. You will KNOW that the time is coming. She may even be able to sense that you are getting ready to "help see her off", out of her malfunctioning body.You can spend that week spending extra time with her and letting her know you have loved her... and so can the other family members.

Maybe it would help you AND her... Part of it is probably hard for you because she's not literally just laying in the floor dying.... that's why I had asked my vet about maybe some anesthesia for my cat, before the actual euthanization. Maybe that could be an option for you. Then, you'd know she was absolutely sedated before she ever got the lethal dose. Maybe that's something you can talk to your vet about.

For the time being, you could use a "baby gate" at the bottom of your stairs, to keep her from following you up there.. I don't know if that would work well in your house or not, but it's a suggestion. I wish you well in whatever you decide, and I wish for you & Queen the best possible outcome.

Try not to feel guilty. Be there for her like she's been for you... and when she's gone, remember the GOOD memories. It's not like your'e thinking of doing it to be mean. It's because you love her and you can see that she's suffering.... and it does take a lot out of a person to keep up with their families and take care of an ailing animal. Don't feel like you're doing it to get her out of your life because you're tired of her. If you didn't love her, you certainly wouldn't be on the internet, looking for info or help!

I'd just give & Verleen a hug if I could!

Amy May 18th, 2009 01:58:27 AM

شات

amal_ May 22nd, 2009 09:21:51 AM

Thanks for the reply.  Queen told me it was time just 2 days after I posted here.  She didnt want to go outside first thing in the morning, and when I woke her up to walk, an  hour later, she started screaming in pain.  The vet said that her back legs were actually totally gone, she couldnt feel them at all, and her front shoulders and neck were just wearing out from the extra strain.  Waiting to see the vet she actually put her mouth on my hand for the first time ever, I knew she was in a LOT of pain.  The vet said the choices were to keep her drugged for the pain, or put her down.  It was time.  I still cry randomly some times, and I have dreams about dogs.  But i did know it was coming,   Thanks for being here . . .

Cara June 5th, 2009 11:42:33 AM

I ran across this as I was searching for signs to know when it's time to put my beloved 14yr/10mo male Golden Retriever to sleep. I just don't know. He displays some of the signs: he rarely plays with his toys, he sleeps alot, does not hear when I come home and walk across the tile to him - in heels yet. He is blind in his left eye and in the past couple of weeks, he has been losing his back end a couple times a day, whether on slippery tile, concrete, or carpet. He has been on Rimadyl for a couple years, Thyroid meds since age 7, and I keep him on Glucosamine and Chondrotin treats daily. Some days I see the Dakota I have known and love since he was 9 weeks old, and sometimes I just see a tired old man. I am well aware he is well past the average age for a Golden Retriever, but I just want to make sure I do what's best for him and I just don't know. Any objective opinions would be appreciated!

Tammy June 17th, 2009 06:22:28 PM

Hi all. I wanted to let everyone know that there are some really good groups at yahoo that you can join and get opinions and help from others in similar situations. I have been going to a group on yahoo and it has helped me a lot. I'm definitely not trying to take any traffic away from this site, just offering a suggestion to some of you who really need people to talk to and responses and ideas.

Amy June 28th, 2009 06:39:50 PM

What is all ^that^ garbage?? Does anyone watch this page and see what's here??

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