Why is it that men always seem to keel over first? Though the ones that “know thineselves” are smart enough to walk away at the first sign of an impending needle stick or bodily effluence, I always seem to get the ones who pretend to want to be “in on the action.”
And that’s often a bad idea.
Yesterday's roster smacked of the full-moon lineup. You know, the list of new clients coming in for acute conditions from dog bite abscesses to popped out eyeballs and gory cancers of the penis(!). It was not a day for a man to strain himself to show true colors in the exam room. Not this day.
Yet two of three tried. And one earned himself the visceral reaction smackdown. Next thing I heard was a slump against a wall followed by a slurred, “Doc, I gotta sit down, OK?”
Despite the warning signs, only my assistant’s reaction clued me in to the happenings behind the bushy dog whose face I’d been concentrating on. Her release almost earned me a canine snap, but I guess the pale man almost falling off the exam room chair provided her sufficient excuse. After all, better for the vet to get bit than the client to bash his head in on the stainless steel exam table.
So here's where I ask: Why is it that men seem ten times as likely to lose it in the exam room? While the sight of a flowing abscess or a bleeding wound seems rarely to elicit more than an appraising, “Wow!” from a woman, a man will typically back up in utter disgust: "Gee thanks, that was more than I needed to see."
What’s that all about?
Though I relish the opportunity to minister to the fallen, it’s always an unwelcome adventure, this testosterone-related free-fall. What is it I’m supposed to do for this now-demoralized human male?
Worse, yet, is the knowledge that while this happens to me with some regularity, it rarely afflicts my male colleagues’ practice. Do their male clients know better? Do mine feel the need to prove their salt in the presence women and watch what they know they shouldn’t?
Dunno about all that but I do know one thing: A fainting client is a surefire recipe for getting zero complaints about the bill. Imagine that!
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I'm pretty sure that it has to do with menstruation and having to endure childbirth. Women are used to this more than men I believe. Also women have a higher pain tolerance than men, I'm sure that comes into play as well somehow.
Chuck March 31st, 2009 08:01:45 AM
FWIW, this was a common observance by my mother when she was an ER nurse--if someone was going down in the middle of an exam, it would be the man. Doubly so if he was a big guy.
I've always been in the gross, and my fiance is remarkably goo-adverse. I don't particularly have a great explanation, though I've heard kids being offered as the reason before.
DrSteggy March 31st, 2009 08:07:33 AM
I also think it has to do with menstruation- dealing with blood about once a month since you are a teen (or even before) .
Xslf March 31st, 2009 08:11:53 AM
I totally think it has to do with not wanting to lose face around a woman. I'm sure when they are around another man they might chose to look away if something bothers them. I was in the Marines for 6 years in male dominated fields. I saw alot of them do similar stuff for the same reason. Sometimes men are just stupid. (no offense to that that are readers) Besides you are cute and that makes it a double whammy for them. You're not just a girl but a CUTE girl. The impression points go way up in that context. Can I make a guess and say most of the time it is the younger (under 35) set that does this? VBG Tail wags, Marie http://k-9solutionsdogtrainginc.blogspot.com
Marie March 31st, 2009 08:16:54 AM
There IS a reason woman have the children and men go out to work..(or in previous generations so)...
my husband and met almost 30 years ago on a rescue squad call, and he wasn't a bit squemish then, but years later and rescue squad days long behind us, and he certainly "acts" it now, though I know he's seen way worse....
me, I just think it's usually cool....
LorriM March 31st, 2009 08:16:57 AM
When I was taking a gross anatomy class in college, the big, tough football players were taking the same class. Never failed - when we saw a movie of a surgery or procedure they were the ones face down on the floor. Go figure!
dottie March 31st, 2009 09:04:26 AM
Mmm, I dunno - I've seen as many women go pale and ask to leave the room as men. I think it has a lot to do with background, culture, what you do for a living, etc. The men around here tend to be tough - this is a rural area, and a fair share of them have seen gory accidents on animals or people due to growing up on farms or working in the woods. The women on the other hand tend to have indoor, sedentary jobs, or childcare. So for gore involving animals, they are maybe less tolerant in general. But either way, it doesn't happen often, not even in hot consultation rooms filled with the smell of pus.
brebis noire March 31st, 2009 09:08:29 AM
I'm not sure why some bodily grossness bothers some people and not others. I haven't noticed a gender bias involving actual fainting - only one woman, and she was a diabetic having a problem - we hadn't actually done anything except put the dog on the table before she slid down the wall. What I usually see is the 'trained' response that many girls/women give so that society will think they're cute - the semi-squealing and giggling about body parts and functions, saying things such as "you know, her hoo-hoo" or "his...little man" and "Oh, that's just so icky" (with little hand motions) about anal sac issues. That sets my teeth on edge.
We have a female nurse or three as clients, and only one of them is comfortable doing treatments for ears, etc. on her cat. The other two can't and explain they can do the grossest things in dealing with treatment on human patients, but just can't with an animal. This I understand, because while I've helped gently pull yarn from a cat's intestine, scaled teeth on a dog with 'trench mouth' and dealt with handling feeding live and dead things to prey animals of all kinds, I can't deal with humans with anything more than simple cuts and scrapes (except my own). I was asked to change a dressing on a shoulder surgery site on a guy once and when he pulled the old bandage off and I saw the big scar and stitches, I had to walk away before I gagged. Yep, it's weird, but that's how it goes sometimes. :)
KateH March 31st, 2009 09:47:20 AM
My dad is a vet. Growing up I went to watch surgeries all the time. I remember one day when my dad and the owner of the practice were doing a C-section on a sheep. The other vet's sons and I were watching. The boys ended up getting queasy and running out of the room part way through the surgery, and I just felt bad that the baby didn't make it.
Later I worked for a veterinarian and the only time I really had a problem was when I was helping him work on a rabbit with an absessed eye. It was really nasty. The vet walked me outside in the snow and shut the door. I never got faint in front of him again.
Karen March 31st, 2009 09:48:53 AM
Really? I had no idea men were more likely to drop at something icky.I imagine they are just less likely to announce ahead of time that they may need to leave the room.
I'm okay with blood, goo, pretty much anything but mouths. The vet wants to show me a growth in a dog's mouth, loose teeth or even gross tartar - and I have to leave the room! But clean up the puncture wounds, clean out the cyst - nasty, but I can handle it. Happily, I have an understanding vet who checks mouths and just tells me what needs to be done!
I can brush the dog's teeth, just so long as I can do it by feel!
robinsdogs March 31st, 2009 09:56:20 AM
Karen, your story of the kids of vets reminds of a guy I went to vet school with - also the son of a vet. We were doing venipunctures on cows (something that was rather cruel and when we complained they stopped the practice of having first year students do it...anyways...). I did my venipuncture on the jugular and got the requisite stream of blood, so I turned around to hand the instrument to my partner (the vet son), and he was as white as a sheet. I asked him if he was OK, and he told me he couldn't stand the sight of blood. I was like "you're joking", but he obviously wasn't. I don't think he did his venipuncture, but I do know that he turned out to be one of the best, neatest and most anatomically knowledgeable surgeons I've ever met. He uses the tiniest incisions for routine surgeries and everything he does is so neat it's like plastic surgery.
brebis noire March 31st, 2009 10:09:02 AM
I can't stand fictional violence, but I watch surgical procedure videos for fun (fascinating), and also am prepared to watch or participate in messy/unpleasant care of our critters. My husband, on the other hand, can't stick around even for stitches on our pets, much less anything worse.
Galadriel March 31st, 2009 10:36:17 AM
I admit having done my share of dissections in college, that the only thing that I ever saw that was really nasty was a barrel full of formalin soaked minks. They were disgusting and the smell putrid. I'll take blood and puss anyday.
Lorri March 31st, 2009 01:09:27 PM
I'm pretty lucky, between my boyfriend & I, we can handle most nasty jobs. I have to admit being squeamish about "eyes". When my old dog got her corneal ulcer & luxated lens, I had to "go lay down", I've only felt like vomiting and/or fainting twice in my life and that was one of the times.
Bill is pretty good at scissor surgery, no matter how messy and bloody, but he is a terrible "restrainer" and think all the dogs should just stay still "on command".
Barbara A. Albright/NH
Pocket's Story from NH March 31st, 2009 02:50:32 PM
I don't know what you gals are talking about. I'm a man and I can stomach anything you c. . .wait, did you say there would be blood?
Larry March 31st, 2009 02:56:26 PM
There are aspects of wound care I don't particularly care for. I was a dairy hand at an early age; self-reliance is important when emergency services are not close by. If it has to do with the eyes, or if it vomits, you can have it. If I have the choice. I would agree that the sight of blood does in a lot guys. Don't understand it.
eli March 31st, 2009 03:24:08 PM
lol! that's so funny. men are generally the ones who pass out on me when i draw their blood, too. it makes me a nervous wreck as i come from the vet world where the patients don't ever pass out over blood draws. maybe you need a "code juice!" too? ;) the first patient who ever fainted on me ALWAYS passes out yet failed to mention that. and it wasn't the draw that put him over the edge...it was the tiny drop of blood that emerged when i peeked under the cotton ball. i'm glad that he recognized my likely inability to catch his fall so he kindly passed out backwards.
sarah March 31st, 2009 03:38:50 PM
Sorry, I should have said attractive. Hope I didn't offend. Tail wags, Marie
Marie March 31st, 2009 05:21:08 PM
As a male pre-vet and current volunteer vet tech at a small clinic I have to say that in my short experience I would completely have to agree with you that the guys are more likely to have a bad reaction... I (luckily?) haven't had to abandon my vet to assist a client like your assistant had to do yesterday, but I have had more than my fair share of men turn away and make comments about the fecal stick, rectal temperature, blood drawing, wound cleaning, etc...
Matthew March 31st, 2009 07:12:20 PM
Hmm. I'm perfectly fine seeing all sorts of gross at the vet clinic. I will often listen with facination to any animal-related medical procedure story involving gore (hopefully its a success and the animal in question is okay in the end of course).
But when it comes to people, I can't even look at a needle puncturing the skin. Can't look at anything "gross" relating to people, can't even stand listening to it. Its a whole different mentality to it. So I can understand people who always deal with human gore and not being able to tolerate seeing the same thing with animals.
I've notice that more women are willing to admit their limits before the exam even starts. Women are more likely to not want to hold their animal on the table before the doc is even in the room, and are more likely to look away when the doctor starts heading to the fridge where the vaccines are. On the other hand, I've seen more men break down from bad news, they really do seem to take some things harder.
Tatyana March 31st, 2009 08:03:36 PM
I'm in a rural area, and a lot of men around here are hunters and have no problem gutting and field dressing a deer. But if something is bleeding on their dog or cat, yep, watch out!
My husband can't clean up vomit without vomiting himself, but always tries! I've told him time and again to just leave it for me, but he never does. He gags and gags until I get there and tell him to go out and get some fresh air! He has also occasionally mentioned that he would like to come to work sometime and observe a surgery, because he is fascinated with some of the tales I tell. Then I mention the fact that surgery involves the use of needles, and he decides he doesn't have time right then to visit! Just the picture of a needle will make him turn pale. If I come home with an unused syringe and needle in my pocket he has to leave the room when I empty the pockets. The most ironic thing about this is: he's a beekeeper, and gets stung a dozen times a day!
Sassy March 31st, 2009 08:14:13 PM
I'm good with almost anything except snot, or drool (human or animal) and cleaning up fresh warm vomit (for some reason cold vomit doesn't bother me much.
My hubby, on the other hand, gets squeamish and sick to his stomach if I so much as mention the words fecal, poop, or vomit and heaven forbid he should have to clean out a cat box which might lead to having to clean up after himself.
cl March 31st, 2009 08:29:47 PM
I do tattoos and piercings, and yup, it's the guys who pass out 3 to 1. Even when it's their girlfriend getting the work.
tattooheathen March 31st, 2009 08:52:14 PM
My husband is the same way... horribly phobic about bodily fluids. He can't even watch the veterinary ER shows on TV. I think the theory already mentioned, that women are raised to be used to menstruation and childbirth and so have a higher tolerance for 'scary and icky' physical processes. There really isn't any similar things for males.
Pai March 31st, 2009 10:07:28 PM
My husband is much more squeamish than I am. I have bounded across the room to catch the cat vomit in my cupped hands, rather than let it stain the comforter on the bed. He gets ill if he gets a little barf on his shoe.
Joy K March 31st, 2009 10:24:53 PM
My husband is much more squeamish than I am. I have bounded across the room to catch the cat vomit in my cupped hands, rather than let it stain the comforter on the bed. He gets ill if he gets a little barf on his shoe.
Joy K March 31st, 2009 10:25:16 PM
Joy K - LOL; I am totally the same way....I have even been in an exam room and had cats start urinating and I have just caught the sample with my hand till I can get a syringe. Some of you may or may not appreciate how hard it can be to get a 'clean' sample from a cat. Parvo Poop, Abscess; sometimes smells get to me a bit but I have had that end up on me as well with little problem. Animal stuff no problem but people stuff....then I am the one with the problem. If I hear someone else vomit then I am very likely to follow suit. The only time I have ever actually gagged in regards to an animal was when someone brought there completely urine soaked Chow in for euthanasia. It was SOOOOOOOOOO soaked and the ammnonia smell was so strong that it made my eyes water and like I said I literally gagged. Fortunately the owners didn't stay...I would have felt bad even though they obviously had let their dog deteriorate so.
But I am getting away from the topic. I have had a couple females faint on my but it seems like the majority of the squemish are of the male species. I don't have a good explanation for it other than their warm and fuzzy side comes out when it involves animals.
J.C. April 1st, 2009 12:01:51 AM
After 26 years as an ER nurse...yep, it's usually the guys, especially the big "I'm so macho" types that hit the deck. My husband can't take any kind of unpleasantness; if one of the dogs or cats has any kind of pee, poop, or vomit accident while I'm at work, I come home to find the mess covered with paper towels or newspaper waiting for me to clean it up. Probably the only thing that (almost) made me lose my appetite was one time while sexing a litter of kittens at the shelter where I volunteer, I turned one around, lifted the little tail, and was immediately doused with a jet of watery diarrhea, anal gland juice, and lots of tapeworm segments--dripping down my face and glasses, in my hair, and soaking through my shirt. Even with a face-and hair wash and a change of shirts, I still reeked. No one would eat lunch with me--I had my sandwich outside at the picnic table...alone...but I still didn't miss a bite.
Shellie April 1st, 2009 02:17:18 AM
I've seen it many times in my office, but don't have a clue why.. I guess they are wimps..
I have a nasty habit of passing out on painful procedures.. How does 4/5 on endometrial biopsies? How about intra-articular injections? On venipunctures.. close to it? ughhh.. I don't know why.. but it makes me nuts.. Embarrassing to say the least... The weird part.. I don't have a problem inflicting pain while doing office procedures..
barri April 1st, 2009 06:27:47 AM
One more, I can kill, dress and process game, pork, beef, poulty, etc. But the sound, not the sight, of a cat eating raw meat/small game turns my stomach inside out. We have a dog who imitates this sound when she cleans her paws. I haven't gotten used to it.
eli April 1st, 2009 08:45:47 AM
Yes, it was always the football player types who keeled - once during a C-section where he was supposed to help resuscitate puppies! The only thing I really was grossed out by was helping to post some sheep from the nearby college that had been dead about 2 weeks: extraordinarily repulsive (maggots, stench) even with masks and industrial strength room freshener outside by the freezers. The intern who accepted the sheep for post-mortem was told he'd be doing them by himself next time!
maria shanley April 1st, 2009 09:13:24 AM
This is true in the human medical world, too. If a big guy says the sight of blood won't bother him, I get him a chair--I can almost guarantee he'll try to pass out.
drh April 1st, 2009 12:46:04 PM
well i must be a wuss cause i leave i dont wanna see that stuff
jim hall April 1st, 2009 04:37:49 PM
This is certainly true in my experience as a rural doctor. My impression is that a guy is most likely to faint when there is pain or blood on his daughter, wife, son, or self; in that order. I tell guys that this is because they have to just stand there while their instincts are screaming at them to attack whatever is hurting their loved ones. Guys don't like pain any more than women but guys are also afraid that they are might show this fear. Women usually don't worry about that. Of course, the real reason is that women are just tougher.
George Olive, MD April 1st, 2009 08:40:00 PM
Like Galadriel, I am not at all desensitized to violence, but real gore of the veterinary kind doesn't bother me. I might have gagged a bit cleaning up after a parvo dog, but not really any problem fainting.
EXCEPT the cow -- not calf -- dehorning. That I had to sit down for. I'll never look at a post-hole digger the same way again.
Julie in OH April 2nd, 2009 08:47:05 PM
Julie: Don't get me started on dehorning adult ruminants. I have enough trouble with the babes.
Dr. Patty Khuly April 2nd, 2009 09:06:19 PM
I faint, regularly, if I see my own blood in places where I'm not used to see it (I'm a woman, so you get to see some blood occasionally, and I suffer from nose bleeds since I was a child and that does not bother me at all, funnily). Needles close to me have the same effect, I tried to desensitize donating blood but I did faint a couple of times and this was not appreciated by the people at the blood bank. Faited at the dentis, after a vaccination, at the Obgyn office, you name it I fainted. I tend to tell it to doctors in advance but sometimes is just to fast, the light goes off and I wake up with concened faces looking at me.
Other people's blood does not have the same effect on me, I can perfectly well clean and dress wounds on my clumsy boyfriend (almost cut his finger off while chopping a roasted chicken, fell downstairs and messed up is big thumb, etc etc) who luckily for me is not of the fainting persuasion, he is very tall and even if he is thin I could never catch him if he starts to fall.
FS April 3rd, 2009 07:58:03 AM
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t7b.com April 10th, 2009 06:51:47 AM
One thing I didn't see mentioned; Guys love harder than women. The emotional bonds they establish, be it with a pet or a person are incredibly strong and seeing pain or emminent death is going to cause a reaction be it fainting, tears or anger.
Scott April 22nd, 2009 12:00:35 PM
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amal_ May 22nd, 2009 04:58:58 AM
don't particularly have a great explanation, though I've heard kids being offered as the reason before.
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