A quick survey of my favorite veterinarians revealed the following white lies we vets are guilty of:
1-She’s not fat, she’s just Rubenesque (as in, morbidly obese).
2-You might want to cut down on his food just a tad (as in, he’s morbidly obese).
3-She’s not stinky, she smells just like a spring breeze (…and like a Golden retriever after a summer downpour so next time don’t do me the favor of bathing her right before her visit).
4-Don’t worry we’ll pick it up. It happens all the time (though usually not on the walls and all over the technician).
5-You want me to check his anal glands? Sure! I’d love to!
6-You forgot your credit card? Don’t worry—we trust you (so maybe you can take that Frontline when you do remember to bring your credit card).
7-No…she’s not so dirty. Dogs and cats get mats like this all their time in their fur
8-…and these grungy ears? That’s OK, I don’t mind cleaning them.
9-That muzzle? It’s just because we like to be careful here. It’s really no reflection on her personality…
10-Oops! Don’t worry! That bleeding tends to stop pretty quickly…
(and remember…I say all this with love in my heart…and with remorse for our veterinary failings, of course)
If you have any more white lies you tell (from any industry), I’ll happily receive them…
Vet clinic humor: "oh, no, I don't mind if you drag her 50 feet like a dust mop!" tech & patient gone for 15 minutes for blood draw---- returns with 2 wet legs, "was he a good dog? Oh, yes, NOT a problem at all!"
patient needs exam on typically sensitive area, Vet or tech retrieve muzzle--- "Fido probably should be muzzled for this" , "No big deal---have one right in my pocket that fits!"
Confirmed stool-eater belches in Vet's face, much to horror of owner.----"that's some breath from her!"
"I can't palpate her abdomen, with that large fat pad"
As I am becoming sillier & laughing like crazy----I can't help but remember the stupidist and most ridiculous statement I made after intense long hours of whelping/labor---when Pocket's dam needed that midnight C-section. As she was given the pre-anesthetic that causes "nausea & vomiting" , her Vet was preparing for surgery. I yelled out "Oh NO....Alice is vomiting up her puppies.....!" She came running back over to see an after birth (from the one she did whelp) and told me "to pull myself together because she needs me to assist!"
I should be embarrassed to pieces sharing that---only one of dozens----
I'll have to think about the little white lies. I'm under the influence of a new allergy medication and it's making my brain fuzzy.
What I can say though is that I wouldn't know what to do if I were a client of yours. If my vet sees a fat animal, she comes right and says so. When Taz was much younger and got thick through the middle she called him a tick. I asked her of that was her way of saying that he was fat and she immediately agreed. She didn't take 5 seconds to think about it, the yes was there as soon as the question mark left my mouth. LOL
If she comes across a stinky animal that has obviously not seen soap or water in awhile, she's just as blunt about that as well. I've never gotten that speech as I don't like stinky dogs or cats, but she does give lectures on good hygiene as well. The more a animal has skin problems like with hot spots, the longer the lectures get.
I've been dealing with her straight as a arrow ways for too long to become offended by it. Now I just laugh at her. She either gives me that look that says "It's not funny" or smirks.
Well...let me confess...I use the word "fat" daily. That's one area where my diplomacy exerts its limits. But ask an internist I know and she'll confess to cooing over fat cats. Turns out she grew up with fat cats and can't get enough of 'em. Takes all kinds...
When its comes to weight, I wish my vet were more blunt. Frankly, I wish my own doctor was as well. I guess I'm one of those people who is motivated by scare tactics - tell me my cat 'could lose a pound or two' and I'm likely to agree and do nothing, tell me my cat is on the road to diabetes - I'l be alarmed.
"she got all offended when we tried to shave her legs!" (about an extremely aggressive dog that takes two people, a muzzle AND an E-collar in order to run clippers down the legs)
"he's certainly very opinionated!" (about the huskies and malamutes that wail and howl the whole time they are in the salon)
"Snuggles wouldn't stop dancing on the table today!" (translation: your dog was bouncing up and down on the table and trying to leap off every chance it got)
"BearBear just likes to give love nips" (so says another groomer who took over a dog i refuse to do because of his extreme fear-aggression)
I picked my cat up from the Vet's on Friday after she spent most of the week there when I was abroad (she needs daily meds & subQ's, so I boarded her there when I was away).
"Zora was a bit feisty" the vet told me when I picked Zora up. Only half an hour later the vet told me that my cat succeeded in drawing blood from two vets and a tech. BTW, when I talked on the phone with a tech earlier this week, to see how Zora is doing, the tech assured me that my cat is doing fine, and has given them no problems whatsoever. I didn't fully believe that, and now I see why....
elizabeth!!!! are you kidding? jeez, when dogs do come in with electric collars, we refuse to handle the collar at all and make the owners take the collars off and put them back on themselves. goodness, i dont know a single salon that would use a shock collar to keep a pet calm enough to work on them...
Having a peke with hair that mattes while being combed/brushed - or from a single walk outdoors - I feel for responsible owners who get admonished.
My dog can have a trim and a bath and within seconds gather a universe of twigs, leaves, and goodness knows what in his fur within a single walk! I just think he is talented.
"oh, no, I don't mind if you drag her 50 feet like a dust mop!"
tech & patient gone for 15 minutes for blood draw---- returns with 2 wet legs, "was he a good dog? Oh, yes, NOT a problem at all!"
patient needs exam on typically sensitive area, Vet or tech retrieve muzzle--- "Fido probably should be muzzled for this" , "No big deal---have one right in my pocket that fits!"
Confirmed stool-eater belches in Vet's face, much to horror of owner.----"that's some breath from her!"
"I can't palpate her abdomen, with that large fat pad"
As I am becoming sillier & laughing like crazy----I can't help but remember the stupidist and most ridiculous statement I made after intense long hours of whelping/labor---when Pocket's dam needed that midnight C-section. As she was given the pre-anesthetic that causes "nausea & vomiting" , her Vet was preparing for surgery. I yelled out "Oh NO....Alice is vomiting up her puppies.....!" She came running back over to see an after birth (from the one she did whelp) and told me "to pull myself together because she needs me to assist!"
I should be embarrassed to pieces sharing that---only one of dozens----
What I can say though is that I wouldn't know what to do if I were a client of yours. If my vet sees a fat animal, she comes right and says so. When Taz was much younger and got thick through the middle she called him a tick. I asked her of that was her way of saying that he was fat and she immediately agreed. She didn't take 5 seconds to think about it, the yes was there as soon as the question mark left my mouth. LOL
If she comes across a stinky animal that has obviously not seen soap or water in awhile, she's just as blunt about that as well. I've never gotten that speech as I don't like stinky dogs or cats, but she does give lectures on good hygiene as well. The more a animal has skin problems like with hot spots, the longer the lectures get.
I've been dealing with her straight as a arrow ways for too long to become offended by it. Now I just laugh at her. She either gives me that look that says "It's not funny" or smirks.
"no, I don't mind administering your rectal cream.."
"she got all offended when we tried to shave her legs!" (about an extremely aggressive dog that takes two people, a muzzle AND an E-collar in order to run clippers down the legs)
"he's certainly very opinionated!" (about the huskies and malamutes that wail and howl the whole time they are in the salon)
"Snuggles wouldn't stop dancing on the table today!" (translation: your dog was bouncing up and down on the table and trying to leap off every chance it got)
"BearBear just likes to give love nips" (so says another groomer who took over a dog i refuse to do because of his extreme fear-aggression)
"Zora was a bit feisty" the vet told me when I picked Zora up.
Only half an hour later the vet told me that my cat succeeded in drawing blood from two vets and a tech.
BTW, when I talked on the phone with a tech earlier this week, to see how Zora is doing, the tech assured me that my cat is doing fine, and has given them no problems whatsoever. I didn't fully believe that, and now I see why....
My dog can have a trim and a bath and within seconds gather a universe of twigs, leaves, and goodness knows what in his fur within a single walk! I just think he is talented.